Stickhorse Cowgirl V: The Golden Rule
Several weeks ago on a beautiful Saturday morning, hubby and I picked up our only granddaughter "J", from a birthday slumber party. We took "J and our dog, Dudley, to a local park to have a little fast food picnic! "J"'s mother, our eldest daughter, had just gotten out of the hospital for pregnancy complications and had undergone an ultrasound revealing the gender of her unborn child (YAYYYY, it's a GIRL!!!!!!),due this July.
Granddaughter "J "and I had shopped for the birthday gift; hungry, tired and cranky kindergarten brother in tow! Wasn't I just doing this myself for my own three kids a few years ago?! Anyway, the gift was chosen, wrapped in the parking lot, card signed and we delivered "J" to the party just in time!
The next morning, after picking "J" up, off to Pinnacle Mountain Park we went --yes, it is a "little" mountain as mountains go, but hubby and I climbed to the top summer before last which was quite a feat at our age!!! Here we are at the summit!
Granddaughter "J" and Dudley running in the park at the base of the mountain.
"J" flew through the air on the swings! She ran through the grass with Dudley on his leash. We had a great time! I was glad to see "J" having such fun with a smile on her face. She is a precious girl and life hasn't been completely fair. She has the most optimistic happy outlook on life, but sometimes things happen that are beyond one's control - like divorced parents, several moves in the past two years, longing for what seemed safe and secure and forever in the past. As I've grown older, I've learned that "forever" doesn't exist in this present life. "J" is now in a stable, happy home, looking forward to a new sister ( she is SO excited), having been the only girl with two brothers and two little stepbrothers she loves! And that is what is so special about "J" - she loves! She is the most loving child with such a sweet spirit towards her friends and family. That's why I was so upset when eldest daughter revealed to me that when "J"'s father picked her up from after school care recently, she was in tears because the three other girls who also go to after school care, were all picked up together for one of the girl's sleepover party. "J" was left alone. Now, I know she is well liked by her classmates and I'm sure the mother of the girl having the party had no idea that a child was going to be devastated by being left out, but it sure makes me want to do something-- so no other child has to go through this. I know it's not possible to invite every child over for a sleepover. I realize that you can't protect a child from every sorrow and heartache in this life. A favorite pastor once said that if we had no struggles or resistance in our lives, we would become weak and flabby in spirit--- like lifting weights with feathers.
So I pray for "J" that the Lord would bless her, protect her from evil, and guide her steps. And I rejoice with "J" that her prayers have been answered for the sister she has so desired.
P.S.
I'm just wondering, friends-- do you have a memory of being left out or not chosen? If so, how do you think it affected the person you are today? If there were any silver lining in this dark cloud, perhaps it would be the lesson of empathy; putting yourself into another's shoes. Never forgetting how it feels to be left out. In essence, the golden rule.
Comments
QMM
She sounds like a blessing to me.
QMMM, boy does your comment brng back memories. My father was the "lawyer drunk," and there was so much shame in my family.
Oh, what we parents, with our faults, do to our children...C
Yes, I have been left out, but I am not sure how much it affected me. This due to the fact that it was coinciding with me being suddenly an immigrant child in my late teens. That of course did affected me; in both positive and negative ways.;)
xoxo
But the bigger heartaches, by far, have come watching the times my own children have been left out. Bo has always been a lover, too, and yet she's marched to her own drummer. She wasn't always in sync with the ages and stages of her friends. I see the benefit of that now as she is VERY comfortable in her own skin and has excelled tremendously. She is content to be herself. It IS painful but I'd rather have a deep daughter, and son, than to have them pain-free and shallow. Deepening only comes through the pain of digging and tearing away.
Still, as mom (and you as grandma) it DOES make you want to stop the whole thing. Give "J" a hug from me and btw, you look REALLY pretty in that picture. It was so fun to see you. :)
It made me more aware of my children's friends and I would let all of them into my house. If there was too many, they all had to get out...
I am also very blessed to see and read of your granddaughters' kindness and love in spite of her life circumstance. And yes, I clearly remember being left out of a classmates birthday party, then quickly being added as an afterthought ( I am sure it was an after-thought of kindness ) and I was very aware it was an afterthought.This made me very insecure at the party and the whole time I just knew I was not wanted there. So really, it is probably a good thing your granddaughter was not there, but she will not think that for many years.
I realize now I was a new-comer in the area, and was not a part of their everyday lives,so it is fair to conclude the parents simply were not aware of me. And your granddaughter may very well be in the same boat. Either way, it just plain hurts, and I am sorry she has to know this. Given loving family and relationships she will realize this and also be more kind herself to others. Bless you all.
Oh, congratulations on another granddaughter! They are the best!!!!
There were lots of times I felt like I was on the outside looking in while growing up. It did hurt, even if there was nothing that could be done about most of the instances.
It would have been nice, though, for someone to have been sincere in talking to me about what was going on, rather than telling me it didn't matter.
Because it did matter.
To me.
I'm glad your little granddaughter is getting a sister. She won't feel so alone. My sister and I are best friends. I have lots of others, now, but she's my lifeline! Glad ya'll had fun!
Congrats on the new grand baby!