I am a baby-boomer/sixties-to-eighties-rock-lovin’ old person. I am sitting at the computer listening to my Pandora “Dire Straits” Station. (I have an opera station, too, so don’t judge me too harshly).
Along came the old Journey hit, “Don’t Stop Believing.” It made me think of a post—inspiration! You just never know how the Muse will strike, right? Journey said:
She Took the Midnight Train Goin’ Anywhere
These lyrics made me think about advice I wish young women everywhere would heed. It is advice borne of my longish life, tinged with sorrow now softened, and of my very-long work as a divorce lawyer.
Ahhhhh, if only they would listen to me.
So many of us, women especially (hang with me, here), just drift through days, taking life’s midnight train to anywhere.
We especially need to be intentional in important decisions—like who we marry or with whom we choose to have a child; and, yes, being wary of listening only to the heart in these matters.
I know I have beaten this drum before, but it pains me that almost weekly I see women in hard situations because they settled. They did not strive for the best. They did not hold out for all that life has for them. They waited for what came along to claim them and then just climbed aboard. Big, Big, Big mistake…the train to anywhere can take you to a hard life.
Look at this picture, hand water- colored by non-artist me just for you.
See those luscious fruits on the tree? (squint and understand they are meant to represent luscious).
See the stick figure scratching his/her head trying to decide which one he/she will pick?
Who are you? Are you the picker, finding just the right fruit to fill your purpose? Or are you the fruit, just waiting on some random picker to come by and snag you away to whatever fate he/she chooses for you?
And, if you are the fruit, are you placed high, peeking barely through the trees, something worth climbing and searching for? Or are you the one hanging low, within easy reach for any picker passer-by?
Living intentionally is good advice for anyone, so why am I addressing women? For reasons that include:
- Pickers are mostly men. It’s just the truth…change this! You don’t have to accept it. You be the picker for your own life, and choose your fruit wisely. Have some standards, some criteria.
- Women impact children more. In our age of divorce, kids stay with moms. Dads, if they are decent, visit. Moms are primary shapers. Even if you are fortunate and never have your family split asunder, you need to consider what influence your partner will bring to your kids. Women, you owe it to your children to choose wisely who will father them; and you must model for them that they can shape their lives to a great degree.
If you are in the USA reading this, you have won life’s lottery of opportunity. You are blessed to be able to make choices that many on this globe don’t have—don’t squander this. Be intentional with your life.
If you don’t heed this advice, then you run the risk of being what rocker Tom Petty said in 1991:
“A rebel without a clue…”
Be intentional in the way you live. Especially be intentional in the most important decisions of your life.
Don’t be the picked—be the picker.
PS – Preachy, I know…but it’s on my heart.