Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Sunday, June 27, 2010

C: Joie de Vivre!

r_joie-de-vivre009 Yeah, it’s French.  And, yeah, I’m faking it—I can’t speak French, at least not yet, but it’s the phrase that came to mind this morning.  See?  I know a little…

I found myself wanting to write.  But about what?  Those of us in Blogdom know that one way to get a post done is to sit at the keyboard and let our fingers do the walking…mine just seemed to take off.

I thought about taking off on a comment that Vickie of Sand Flat Farm made on my last post on cussing, no less.  Her point is that we are growing “numb” to things…yes, that’s a post all right.  But this morning I don’t feel like soap box ranting (do I hear a collective sigh of relief?).  Vickie’s inspiration will wait on another day.  No, I think I feel like just reporting.  On life. 

When V first dragged me into blogging and we were considering names for our blog, one of the first names my cynical mind came up with was “As if You Care!”  But I find that I do care about your mundane little life details, weird as it seems, even to me.  I love seeing the peas you have pulled from your garden; sharing a lovely meal with you, even if it is vicariously; and seeing that your life, too, has its ups and downs.  Finding out about you and your life  is what I enjoy most about your blogs: little windows into who you are and whaIMG_0210t’s happening with each of you.   Now, for a window into mine—today.

First, we are blessed to have my mother-in-law’s sister visiting with us.   She will be here a little over  a month, all told.  E arrived here a few days after her 87th birthday and a day before MIL’s 80th.  Naturally, we had to celebrate at one of our finest restaurants.  My mother joined us, and we dined on Walleye, Veal and wonderful free-range chicken stuffed with cheeses. 

MIL, also a blogger, presented E with a bound edition of her blog, Immigrant Daughter, which contains so much of their shared history.  E was ecstatic—what better birthday reminder than warm memories of a shared life?

Above are the two birthday girls, toasting each other, and toasting life.

And the, picture below, is my mother—not really wanting her picture IMG_0211taken, but being a good sport, nevertheless.

We all four have much to complain about:  E and MIL are both bound to their canes, uncharacteristic for women who were active through their lives.  My mother is having diabetes-related vision problems; terrifying.  And me, well, you know I can complain.  But what we all felt was “blessed,” joie de vivre!  We toasted each other, and the birthdays, and the years, and life.  We splurged on dessert.  Amazing. 

My life is humming—well, more than humming, it’s roaring.  I never catch up at work and, for all that stress, I am able to see that as a blessing, too. 

And, hubby?  For those of you who have followed his miserable departure from our lives, here is the report:  His new business bellied-up.  Just over a month ago, he and girlfroldwomaninshoeiend (so I’m told) sold most of their household goods in a yard sale and quickly, quietly slinked out of town leaving debts everywhere, including his landlord a mini-storage unit and a car-financing company, all of whom have called me and some of my family looking for him. 

Word has it he has  moved to his girlfriend’s border hometown, over a thousand miles from here.  He turned sixty years old last month, has no job, no savings, no retirement plan, no home. 

What he has is a baby under a year old, two young stepsons and a residence with his girlfriend’s family.  I imagine the house is crowded, don’t you?

I know he is in desperate financial straits because he has called many people we know—including my own family—asking for money. 

He is surrounded by people of no relation to him (legal or blood) except for his baby.  He is forging new relationships, for example, with his girlfriend’s parents, who are younger than him by several years.  All are folks who know nothing of his history, and that feels sad to me.  But, maybe not; maybe he’s happy. 

I have reached the point where I pity and feel for him but have come to see him as separate from my own life, which I take as a healthy sign.

So, in the life-comparison game, I’m the clear winner, I think.  It has taken two years, but I have come to understand that life’s troubles are just gonna be there; that those troubles can redefine us—or maybe free us; and that life, in spite of them is beautiful.  It is a joie de vivre that exists in spite of circumstance.  My faith and my family and my roots are part of the way it is possible for me, in spite of my woes.

Wow!  I didn’t know this post would do this.  Thanks to you all for helping me realize and enunciate that realization.

As I looked for images to illustrate joie de vivre, this, from Gandhi, appeared.  I use it here because it does list some of the things I have learned through my sorrows:

joie de vivre gandhi

I think these ten are just good advice.  I haven’t absorbed them all, true enough, but I’m nearer to that goal, more quickly because of my troubles. 

So, there’s the report…hope you are all doing well, too.  C

PS – Are you following the Gore rumors?? Unsubstantiated as yet, but they will be proved out, mark my words.  Remember, I told you we’d find out that Al is slipping into that sad “Old Man Worried About Sexuality, Virility, Manliness” state…all too common.  A blindness.  Sad.  Watch and see…

158 comments:

T said...

I'm slowly trying to get my joie de vivre back. I find the struggle so hard when I'm not where I consider "home". But I will win!

Thank you for post that touched a very personal spot in my heart today.

Vee said...

Let me raise my glass in a toast to four amazing women! (My own mother has that very same look in her most recent photo that yours is wearing here. ;> )

You are, no doubt, exactly where you should be to finally release this man whom you've loved. For the rest of your life there will be a place in your heart that has his name on it. Even if it's as your son's father. Even if it's the memories of the good times. Mercifully, it'll fade further into the background allowing you to move on. And to know that you are letting him go...he asked for every bit of what he's getting...makes me feel very proud of your hard work. Yes, like you, I am very interested in my friends' lives.

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I also love blogging and getting glimpses into the lives of others--I think people have much more interesting lives than I do! However today I have found my Joie de Vivre, because my husband is off at work and I'm still in my pj's and haven't done a darn thing--Some "me time" is my favorite way to spend a day! :-))

Immigrant Daughter said...

C I enjoyed reading and seeing the pictures. I will make a toast to you for keeping to the task to doing what needs to be done and not looking back only forward. With God all things are possible and that is the only one that can keep you.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Oh, we did have such a good laugh about the shoe illustration! I can just see him who relishes his privacy living in a hubbub of a different culture where HE is NOT king! Sorry for laughing, for the breakup of a family, a happy one for so many years is no laughing matter---BUT after all the tears and pain perhaps the ability to laugh about it is a gift!

Frosty Duncan said...

There are so many great thoughts going through my head after reading this. Great words of wisdom. Will be thinking about them for a while.

I have trouble talking to people and sharing ideas and feelings but I've become so much more aware of my friends and family because I've learned so much about other people’s lives in blogs. It was the push I needed to express connect further with people outside of writing. If that makes sense.

Vickie said...

Hey, C! So glad you've found that "joie de Vivre"! It is a sad state that your ex finds himself in. It's a little comforting, I'm sure, to know that he's in dire straits (and it's certainly ok to sneak in some giggles), but I can see in your posts that you're getting past that. I can read between the lines especially with this post. You are coming "into your own" so to speak and that's a good place to be. I watched my sister go through the same thing that you are, and not a day goes by that her ex doesn't know in his heart that he screwed up BIG TIME. And he knows that if he had the chance to do it all over again, he'd do it differently. My sister has found love again with a good Christian man that treats her like a queen. They've been married 3 years now, and the honeymoon has never ended. Who knows, you may find that again! But my sis "came into her own" and found a comfortable place and she said she would be just fine alone. She was happy with herself, she was closer to God and her kids. And when she got happy with herself and loved herself again, THEN along came Wayne! He has given her more love and support and tenderness than her first husband ever even thought about.

Sorry this is long. I'm so proud for you and of you! Hats off to you for hanging in there and being strong. Women are so much stronger than men. We all know that! Thank you for sharing your life with us. Hey, we're all in this boat of life together!

Queenmothermamaw said...

A great group of strong faith filled woman you got in this post. I love to see mature women like that. Gives me inspiration. My post today talks about my pizza and Margarita experience yesterday. I love the words of Ghandi and how wonderful to be able to live by them. Thanks for a great inspiration this a.m.
QMM

Ayak said...

You sound very upbeat and happy and I am pleased for you.
As for hubby? Well what goes around comes around...people eventually get what they deserve!

Noni at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

A toast to all you ladies who celebrated joie de vivre!

Debbie said...

Wow...What a post! I love stories of women living, laughing, and loving life. Sometimes, what other choice do we have? In my family, all the older women are widows, and each is living a joyful life. I am blessed and thankful to have such great role models.
As for men whose brains never left their balls, it's a sad state of affairs (there's a pun) when they throw away the wealth of life in pursuit of eternal youth. There's an old saying: "The ass who thinks he's a stag discovers his mistake when he comes to the hurdle."
It's good when we can finally say adieu and move into the joie de vivre. Saluer (salute)!

Sandra said...

C -- A lovely story about your celebration with Mom, MIL and aunt-in-law! I did look to see if it was the same restaurant you, V, Hubby and I went to when we were there -- I don't think so. But I did smile when you mentioned getting dessert and wondered if it was as big as the "piece of cake" -- more like a "slab" that you, V and I shared. :)

I am so happy for you -- that you have arrived at such a wise and happy place. I mean it truly when I say, you deserve it. :)

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