C: Cutting Apron Strings
Son is going on vacation for a week. His plane was scheduled to take off at 6:00 a.m. This meant early rising for us both, as I took him to the airport. In so doing I amazed myself (is "amazed" the right word?). I was able to step back and watch myself doing what I am about to describe. I'm not an idiot...but sometimes I cannot help myself. Here's how our ride to the airport through the early-morning darkness went:
Me: "Do you have your driver's license? You know, you'll need that to get on the plane."
Son: "Yes, Mom, it's in my wallet in my back pocket--where it usually is..."
Me: "Now, when you get to the airport, you can just go to the little self-help kiosk and do your e-ticket thing, BUT, if you have trouble--any trouble at all--just ask one of the uniformed attendants to help you."
Son (patiently): "Yes, Mom--remember, I've flown before, okay?"
Me: "Sure. Now, when you go to pick up your rental car, if you let them know your destination, they'll give you a map."
Son - no response.
Okay, you get the point. My son is 29 years old, gainfully employed, college-degreed and well-traveled. Why do I have this need to control? Am I co-dependent? Those of you who have grown children, please tell me that this continuation of "mothering" is normal...please.
I knew I was doing it when I was doing it. But, as I say, I can't help it. Son knows this, and just listens, probably stifles sighs, and responds as necessary. It's not Son who has the problem with cutting apron strings, it's me.
I dropped him off at the curb, giving him a hug and kiss and letting him know that my cell phone was on--just in case he needs anything else. He graciously thanked me.
I had been gone all of six or seven minutes when "his" ringtone sounded. OMG! He needs something! As I reached for the phone to answer it, I was already planning how to cross over the freeway and head back to the airport.
Alas, all he wanted was to remind me of a bill payment he had asked me to handle in his absence.
Maybe, just maybe, he can handle himself... C
Me: "Do you have your driver's license? You know, you'll need that to get on the plane."
Son: "Yes, Mom, it's in my wallet in my back pocket--where it usually is..."
Me: "Now, when you get to the airport, you can just go to the little self-help kiosk and do your e-ticket thing, BUT, if you have trouble--any trouble at all--just ask one of the uniformed attendants to help you."
Son (patiently): "Yes, Mom--remember, I've flown before, okay?"
Me: "Sure. Now, when you go to pick up your rental car, if you let them know your destination, they'll give you a map."
Son - no response.
Okay, you get the point. My son is 29 years old, gainfully employed, college-degreed and well-traveled. Why do I have this need to control? Am I co-dependent? Those of you who have grown children, please tell me that this continuation of "mothering" is normal...please.
I knew I was doing it when I was doing it. But, as I say, I can't help it. Son knows this, and just listens, probably stifles sighs, and responds as necessary. It's not Son who has the problem with cutting apron strings, it's me.
I dropped him off at the curb, giving him a hug and kiss and letting him know that my cell phone was on--just in case he needs anything else. He graciously thanked me.
I had been gone all of six or seven minutes when "his" ringtone sounded. OMG! He needs something! As I reached for the phone to answer it, I was already planning how to cross over the freeway and head back to the airport.
Alas, all he wanted was to remind me of a bill payment he had asked me to handle in his absence.
Maybe, just maybe, he can handle himself... C
Comments
QMM
See he does need you...
Love can be so strong that even though me know they are capable of looking after themselves we don't want anything remotely bad to happen to them.
Hope your Sunday is lovely,
xo
(Had to chuckle because my "word verification" is "bailout!")
'-)
Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><
My godparents are the same way. For the last 7 years I have either flown or driven to Chicago up to four times a year (Last year was the exception due that whole kidney failure thing). Every time I go, they get all parental and give me a checklist of things do to once I land, once I get in the airport shuttle, once I get to the hotel...you get the picture. I, at 26, find it amusing simply because no one has ever expressed an interest in my well being in situations like this.
BTW, I offered to take A to the airport so that you could sleep in...he declined. I secretly think he wanted his mom to be the one to see him off....
I find myself doing very similar things with my sons, 31 and 33 years old. One son actually was a tank commander in Iraq for the Marines, however did he do that without me?