Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Saturday, May 15, 2010

C: Cutting Apron Strings

Son is going on vacation for a week. His plane was scheduled to take off at 6:00 a.m. This meant early rising for us both, as I took him to the airport. In so doing I amazed myself (is "amazed" the right word?). I was able to step back and watch myself doing what I am about to describe. I'm not an idiot...but sometimes I cannot help myself. Here's how our ride to the airport through the early-morning darkness went:

Me: "Do you have your driver's license? You know, you'll need that to get on the plane."

Son: "Yes, Mom, it's in my wallet in my back pocket--where it usually is..."

Me: "Now, when you get to the airport, you can just go to the little self-help kiosk and do your e-ticket thing, BUT, if you have trouble--any trouble at all--just ask one of the uniformed attendants to help you."

Son (patiently): "Yes, Mom--remember, I've flown before, okay?"

Me: "Sure. Now, when you go to pick up your rental car, if you let them know your destination, they'll give you a map."

Son - no response.

Okay, you get the point. My son is 29 years old, gainfully employed, college-degreed and well-traveled. Why do I have this need to control? Am I co-dependent? Those of you who have grown children, please tell me that this continuation of "mothering" is normal...please.

I knew I was doing it when I was doing it. But, as I say, I can't help it. Son knows this, and just listens, probably stifles sighs, and responds as necessary. It's not Son who has the problem with cutting apron strings, it's me.

I dropped him off at the curb, giving him a hug and kiss and letting him know that my cell phone was on--just in case he needs anything else. He graciously thanked me.

I had been gone all of six or seven minutes when "his" ringtone sounded. OMG! He needs something! As I reached for the phone to answer it, I was already planning how to cross over the freeway and head back to the airport.

Alas, all he wanted was to remind me of a bill payment he had asked me to handle in his absence.

Maybe, just maybe, he can handle himself... C

21 comments:

Deb said...

once a Mom always a Mom...not matter how old they are....my grandmother did that to her kids...and they were in their 60's...

Jody Blue said...

My Grma who is 94 still mothers my Dad who is 70...love knows no bounds:) My Mom was an uninvolved Mom, when I see of someone being mothered a little pain of "oh I would have liked that to be a part of my life". I would guess he appreciates the mothering or he would have had someone else drive him and pay his bills. The trick is to do it tactfully so they don't feel like your trying to control them:) It was good to sit with a cup of tea and catch up with your goings on.

Vee said...

Yes, I guess I can reassure that it is normal. However, it is not pretty nor appreciated. :D My grandmotehr drives me insane with her mothering control of not only my mother, but now of me and John. So I am putting myself in your son's shoes, I guess, and hoping that you'll get a grip. LOL!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I try hard not to do it and the distance makes it a little easier. That and the fact that my girls are both independant and outspoken enough that I learned very quickly to keep some of my thoughts to myself. Sons are more forgiving.

Queenmothermamaw said...

I cannot give you any advice there, I am one of the world's worse. Even with 6 I found it harder and harder each time. He is going to be fine. Every time I think I mean that, I fall back on the worry pattern. Yep Mon forever.
QMM

Monalisa said...

Who else was going to handle his bill payment?
See he does need you...

Liss said...

My children are still only young but I can see myself never letting go.

Love can be so strong that even though me know they are capable of looking after themselves we don't want anything remotely bad to happen to them.

Zuzana said...

I think to our parents, we will always be children. That will never change, no matter how old we become.;))
Hope your Sunday is lovely,
xo

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

My Mom did the same thing to me, and I do the same thing to my husband because we have no children!! I hope you've had an enjoyable weekend!!

(Had to chuckle because my "word verification" is "bailout!")

Mamma has spoken said...

I do the same thing too!

Kathleen From Eggs In My Pocket said...

Oh, your post hits home for me so much! My 18 year old son is about to go to Canada this summer with his church group. He just got his passport. Even though he will be in good hands and I know he will have a wonderful time..........my heart is anxious. He has never been away from home. Have a great week, blessings,Kathleen

Marmee's Pantry said...

Yes...You ARE normal! But then again, you're a mom...nothing will ever be 'normal' again. But remember: that's a GOOD thing!
'-)

Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><

KatVanD said...

C
My godparents are the same way. For the last 7 years I have either flown or driven to Chicago up to four times a year (Last year was the exception due that whole kidney failure thing). Every time I go, they get all parental and give me a checklist of things do to once I land, once I get in the airport shuttle, once I get to the hotel...you get the picture. I, at 26, find it amusing simply because no one has ever expressed an interest in my well being in situations like this.

BTW, I offered to take A to the airport so that you could sleep in...he declined. I secretly think he wanted his mom to be the one to see him off....

KathySue said...

The Lutheran pastor who baptized my daughter said it best, "The two best things you can give your children are the "tools" to salvation and independence." However, putting that in practice is another thing! I try to realize how amazingly capable my adult kids are, but it is hard not to "help out" with a little advice or a few reminders now and then. I imagine you just got a little "oh there goes Mom" and he dismissed it completely!

Immigrant Daughter said...

You can honestly say I truly reached mom status. No matter how old children get we will always be concerned.

Ayak said...

Yes it is normal. I'm still doing it with my 28 year old daughter. She just rolls her eyes and humours me!

Robynn's Ravings said...

OH I feel SO much better. I do this to my 19-yr-old and wonder if I'm a smother or a mother. So hard to know when to let go and when to step in. Are you telling me it doesn't get any easier, though? BIG HEAVY SIGH. I think mothering them when they're older is WAY harder than when they're tiny!

KathyB. said...

Oh my goodness, 29 years old, and he is flying off without you? Whatever will he do, how will he cope? Make sure you're on stand-by in case the phone rings and it is him calling for his mom! ( ha-ha)

I find myself doing very similar things with my sons, 31 and 33 years old. One son actually was a tank commander in Iraq for the Marines, however did he do that without me?

Hedy King said...

My daughter is 35, lives on the other side of the world and I still have to tell her how to prepare for a flight home. She doesn't need it, I do. A Mom is a Mom is a Mom...

Debbie said...

I ask my boys going out the door, "Did you get your wallet? your books? your shoes?" Then, "You'd better take a sleeve. It will get cold later today." Or, "Call me when you get there." Oh my! I don't think we ever stop being moms! Recently, Rick's mom chided him for not telling her about Rich's engagement. She had to find out from somebody else. Horrors!

Sandy H said...

My girls are 30 and 39 and I still "Mother" them, sometimes to their horror and sometimes to their delight!! They both have children now and I just remind them that someday they will be wearing my shoes and the fit will be the same! It is just our nature to continue to "Mother" them and you know what, I would not change it at all!

Related Posts with Thumbnails