I won’t go into detail about what broke this young couple up because I cannot violate her confidence, but I will say it is unusual and that it would shock you. You would not dream it up; and certainly she never expected it. Let me say that in 31 years of practice, I have never seen anything quite like it. The details indicate a personality/character disorder so ingrained that I have little hope that ex will ever be reformed. I feel certain that this disorder did not occur after their wedding, during their short marriage. No, it was lurking there all the time, just not exposed or maybe it just required an intimate relationship to lure it to the surface.
I’ve been dealing with this a couple of years now, and I am convinced of my client’s steadiness and normality. She has marvelously moved forward, has remarried and seems happy in that new life—if she could only finish up with the details of the old! I think she is a healthy person.
I found myself wondering how two people, so antithetical to each other, could have gotten together in the first place and when did she know that he was capable of such aberrant behavior?
So, I asked her. And she said, “Just before we married a little voice started telling me to back out, that I was making a big mistake. But the plans were finalized, lots of money had been spent, and everyone loved him. I gave him a good look-over and could find nothing objective to complain about. And I did love him. Still, the little voice kept nagging—I knew it was louder than just ‘cold feet.’ But I did not have anything to prove it out, so I ignored it. What was I going to tell everyone? That a ‘little voice’ told me to back out?”
Ah, the “Little Voice.” Some years ago my son said, “Mom, you know that little voice you hear sometimes? I call it ‘Elvie,’ which is from the initials, 'LV.’ Don’t you know that Elvie is always right? Always!”
And I think he’s right.
One client related an Elvie moment to me the other day. She had been driving home when she heard Elvie insist that she should drop in, unannounced, on her grandmother. She resisted. Elvie persisted. She ignored. She was tired, Grandmother did not expect her, she didn’t have time…she was later to learn that her grandmother had fallen. Had she listened to Elvie, she could have saved her grandmother several hours on the floor. Coincidence or truly Elvie? I don’t know.
Elvie is a big help in everyday life, too. Elvie often prompts me in my work. I’ll be working along on something, then another file will pop into my head unexpectedly. I have learned from long experience that this means I had better go check on that status—some deadline is about to pass or there is something that I have left unfinished. I know that it is just my brain keeping track of things—or is it Elvie? Whatever it is, I don’t ignore it—too risky.
What does Elvie look like? (What a funny question!) I dunno; see some ideas scattered through this post. But I think that it is so interesting that this intuition is pictured as coming through our ears, don’t you? I guess it is because we process so much information from “outside” through our hearing, and that we perceive Elvie as being an “outside voice.”
Can Elvie lead you astray? I suppose so, but it’s never happened to me. Really, guys, I know when my vices are rearing their ugly heads. I can just tell when I am wanting to do things for the wrong reasons, can’t you? I don’t think I usually mistake these times for Elvie’s urgings.
What do you think Elvie is? Is it the voice of God? Is it instinct or intuition? Is it a tuning in to some supernatural or “other” plane of which we are normally unaware? Can we cultivate Elvie’s input in some way?
Do you have an Elvie story you can share? If so, please do, because I am soooo interested. In any case, it has been my experience that the picture below contains good advice! - C