Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Sunday, January 3, 2010

C: Resolution

RESOLUTION! re-zə-ˈlü-shən
n. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.


This is so trite, that I almost can’t bring myself to write it. After all, how cliché is the “New Year’s Resolution,” anyway. Still, I find myself sorely in need of one—and in need of actually keeping it, for once.

This year I need to leave somewhere else 50 pounds of myself. Just gotta do it…There are things I want to do, and this extra part of me is getting in the way.

I love food, no doubt, but what I have come to see is that in times of high stress, I turn to food for comfort. The problem is, it works…I feel better at those times, but that leads to extra poundage, which is now bogging me down. My biggest problem is at work, which is high-octane all the time.

Here is the text of the Interoffice memo I sent to all my staff today:

INTEROFFICE MEMORANDUM
DATE: January 4, 2010
TO: ENTIRE STAFF
FROM: C
RE: 2010 office standard operating procedure update—no deviations!
__________________________________

In the past months, you have all, at one time or another (John, most especially) been commanded by me something like this: “OMG! Judge P may not grant that continuance….what will I do?! Quick! Go get me something with high-fat content and high calories…and don’t forget the ‘real’ coke…”

New year, new decade, new leaf turning over.

You will all find the office kitchen stocked with healthy foods: healthy frozen dinners in the freezer; lean lunch meat, fruit and yogurt in the fridge; whole wheat bread. Please feel free to help yourselves to this and their replenishments.
In turn, you must unwaveringly follow the directives below.

Here are the SOPs for the eventuality of my future high-fat demands (yes, it will happen again, so prepare yourselves):

When I begin to demand unhealthy food, say “No!” in a firm, but gentle voice.

If I insist, go get one of the senior partners, who will then (I have faith) countermand my directive.

If the unhealthy request persists, throw me in the windowless, lead-lined room* and hold the door shut. DO NOT open it until the entreaties for fat subside. If things get really out of hand in there, pick a time when I sound like I’m at the far side of the room and throw in one of those grapefruit cups, which often has the effect of ameliorating the fat craving.

Special Instructions for Chocolate: Chocolate is actually considered “medicinal.” (Just trust me on this) It is, as those of you who are female know, an essential food group. The danger comes in its overuse, as it is prone to addiction. It is permissible to administer medicinal doses of chocolate (equal to three or four Hershey Kisses, one Godiva truffle, or—at most—one small candy bar) once or twice a week, especially in times of high stress. If, however, you see me carrying about one of those very large M&M bags, confiscate it at once, and dole the doses out, ten pieces no more often than twice a week.

Thanks to you all for your assistance in helping me whip my reliance on fatty foods and chocolate in this new year.


For those of you who are wondering, we do have a room that we call the "lead-lined, windowless room." Our office used to be a medical clinic, and this was the x-ray room. I believe that they have actually removed the lead lining, but it sounds so much more exciting to call it this, don't you think. It is just perfect for full-moon freak-outs or fat-craving episodes, which may actually be linked, now that I think about it.

Seriously, I HAVE to do something here. I have much to do and health to maintain...some of you who have shared of your own success in this type of journey have inspired me...I shall report, and I welcome your inquiries about my progress.

As I have mentioned, V and I are about to embark (on the 28th) on a BFF trip, hence the countdown to the right. We are beside ourselves with excitement, and we shall keep you all posted from the high seas! C

PS - I just clicked on the comment section and the word verification it gave me was "flabi." It's a sign...(sigh).

23 comments:

joolzmac said...

Hi C

Yes, I started with that resolution too - started today Monday 6th.
I am excited that you are going on vacation - how fun for you both! Hope your Christmas turned out okay and 2010 will be a ripper for you.

Cheers - Joolz

jan said...

Good for you! I hope you have success with the plan!
I started a 'modification plan' last year in April when the doc said that my cholesterol was high-ish. I am down about 15 pounds since then, some months no loss at all, but no gain... The best thing is that the moderation has become a habit and I didn't gain more than a pound at the holidays. I am hoping to add another 10 to 15 pounds to the loss total in 2010. Larger goals just don't work for me. I can't stay completely away from all the goodies!
Wishing you a great adventure and much success in the new year!

Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

I know too well just what you mean, I start boot camp tomorrow and I am so nervous about it, even with lap band you have to be disclipline and it is so hard, it has helped me with emotional eating, but someitmes I just want to cram food in my mouth:( you can do this!! nothing feels as good as healthy feels:) Have so much fun on your much needed vacation!! I wish you the very best this year, YOU deserve it!! HUGS

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee ♥

sigh...I know. Just made oatmeal cookies and have nearly eaten ALL of them in the matter of 60 minutes. But , wait, they're oatmeal so it's all okay, right?

Queenmothermamaw said...

Oh so happy for your upcoming trip. Yes, thank you for your compliments on my new header. You know me I might change tomorrow. No I do like it I did not have any idea what I wanted when I first started but I like the vintage idea so. I wish you success on your ----. Maybe all the support you will have will help blessing.
QMM

kath001 said...

Hmmm...the office isn't my problem spot...too many witnesses. But I definitely need to find a way to curb my calorie intake...maybe sew my lips together.

Protege said...

First of all; a very happy 2010 to you and V!;)) I hope you both had lovely Holidays.;)
I agree with you, I never make resolutions, but this morning I could not button my jeans. Oh my, back on the treadmill for me.;)
xo
Zuzana

Sassy Granny ... said...

What a delightful way to enter the new year. I so relish good advice (and good humor). I'm chuckling still!

I don't make resolutions any more. I've often failed within the first ten days of January, only to be guilt-laden by March.

Alas, I set some goals & objectives, but mostly I pray: More of You, Lord; less of me.

Come to think of it, "less of me" might mean lower weight? So much for fudge & pumpkin pie!

Blessings,
Kathleen

Noni at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

C: that office memo is hilarious! Sounds like your office is a fun place to be in spite of the high octane stress levels. I ususally don't make resolutions either... but, this year is different. I need to get myself back in a good place. I'm the only one who can do that (that is both the good news and the bad news). A few of us are checking in with each other in Mission: THRIVE on my blog. We'd love to have you join us. If not, I'll keep checking back for updates! And, Bon Voyage! A 28 y/o BFF adventure is something to be celebrated for sure!!

T said...

I LOVE your site! I found it via a friend and I'm adding you so I can come back often!

Good for you with the resolution. Mine is more generic....just to get healthier. That will help me with my 50 lb goal and everything else.

Vee said...

Evil word verification messages! Best wishes with your resolution.

Happy New Year, Ladies!

Living on the Spit said...

Hey there...still working on the resolutions here...it is a process.

Thanks for commenting on my weightloss on Biggest Losers...it meant a lot to me! :)

Anita said...

Hey C, good luck with the resolution for 2010. Since resolutions don't work for a lot of people, including myself, why don't you name your 'plan' something else so it might work. That's what I do to convince, trick, encourage myself when I'm tackling something that is a bit tricky for me. All the best and kind regards, Anita.

Leslie said...

I loved the memo you sent. For me weight loss is harder than just eating less, exercising more. It is more like "think and act completely different than you have all your life". I lost 60 pounds in 2007. That was not the first time I lost weight but it is the first time I have kept it off. I need to lose a final 25 so I am going to see what "forever" changes I am willing to make this year to do it. I look forward to hearing about your journey. Sounds like you are well on your way to success. PS your upcoming BFF trip sounds wonderful.

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

Resolutions are made to be broken. Plain and simple! So! Don;t worry!

KathyB. said...

Wow, permission from the boss to deny the boss . I think you are able to do whatever you set your mind on and sometimes a body just needs comfort...and food is a much safer place to get instant gratification and comfort from...that being said, from the little bit of yourself you have revealed on your blog I think you will drop the extra pounds this year! Go for the 1 or 2 sizes lower...just remember the little black dress or suit you want to wear to a great night out with those you love!( and that they will love you if you don't drop the pounds or dress size!)

Suzanne said...

Woo Hoo.....You girls have a great time on the high seas. Be sure to take in the martini tasting if they have one onboard.

What works for me? The South Beach Diet. The first 4 or 5 days are killer but after that there are no cravings. I was amazed. The pounds just pour off. The only problem is I jumped off the wagon and put some back on. I guess I'll be South Beaching again soon.

Have fun.

Eggs In My Pocket / Yesteryear Embroideries said...

Well, whatever resolutions you decide on, I hope that you find that the experience is a happpy one. Sounds like so much fun to go on a vacation! Have a fun time when you do! blessings,Kathleen

addhumorandfaith said...

Wellll, when you said "trip" I was immediately hoping that included Indiana! But, I suppose since you also mentioned "high seas" that means a cruise, and we don't have many of those that pass through Indiana. Oh, well. :)

Good luck in your new, healthy 2010! I'll look forward to hearing about your progress.

StitchinByTheLake said...

That word verification thing is always doing that to me! blessings on your resolutions, marlene

Melissa said...

Resolutions, schemolutions!

I like your idea of eating chocolate for medicinal reasons. It works for me.

Wishing you a blessed new year.

Farmchick said...

Your trip sounds so wonderful! Resolutions don't work for me. Always give them up....

Jody Blue said...

You can do this!! A little trick I use is to buy a bag of m&m's already in little bags and then treat my self to one a day, if I think I will need the fix more than once I eat only 1/2 of the bag and save the other 1/2 for later. God speed on your journey!

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