Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Thursday, October 1, 2009

C: Freedom!!

As I fastened these pearls around my neck this morning, I thought about how they are one of my “symbols” of freedom and new life. This new, single life is not one I ever asked for, nor did I want it; it is made necessary by my husband’s betrayal. Having said that, there is definitely an upside to this unfetteredness I feel after decades of being “one” with another.

These pearls are real. The gen-you-wine thing and, therefore, priced higher than I am accustomed to forking over. But their authenticity was part of the allure for me. I am, after all, a Southern Girl (yes, it is capitalized!). And you know what Southern Girls say:

Your smile can be fake; your hair color can be fake; your boobs can be fake; but your pearls must always be real!
And, girlfriends, I subscribe to that.

I purchased these from J C Penney (of all places), having spotted them as I strolled past the mark-down jewelry counter. They were marked down 65%. Why they had not sold before is beyond me, other than to think that God was saving them just for me, and at a price I could swing. I love, love them, and I wear them with my lawyer duds as well as with my khakis and jeans on the weekends. They are the kind of jewelry that just morph into whatever style they need to be. Classic.

And paying “too much” (even on sale) for my budget was something I just did—for me, purely and simply. It is not something I would have done in the past, having to take another into consideration. If I want to overspend on jewelry now and shave a little from other areas of the budget (say, eat grilled cheese instead of real groceries for a while), then it is totally my decision. And this, folks, is good.

I thought about other symbols of change and freedom I have collected since the breakup of my marriage. There’s Chili, my Belgian Malinois.

 This is a breed of dog I have wanted for a long time. My husband was a problem in this. He wanted only Shelties (I love them, too, and have little Sheltie Scout to prove it) or Malamutes (great dogs!). For some reason he was totally resistant to the idea of us having a Mali (because, maybe, it was my idea???). I purchased Chili soon after our initial break up and, boy, were my instincts on this one correct. He is a wonderful dog! He’s genius and loving and completely loyal to me.

When I purchased Chili, I think my need to have something to sort of fill the hole hubby left was obvious to others. One person observed: “Ah, trading one dog for another…” Yes, and I kept the loyal one…

I could go on and on listing, for the symbols are many. You can see some of them on my “Power Accomplishments” list in the sidebar. And, you will note, that not all of these symbols are purely of hedonistic, single life such as buying jewelry and pricey dogs. Some of them bespeak of struggle; but, you know, I’ve come to understand that these are movements to freedom, too.

I guess you can call these the silver linings to the dark clouds of my troubles; or you could say this is the way God is working all things to my good, which I also believe. In any case, as you can tell, I’m feeling really good about these pearls and my dog…and my freedom! -C

PS - Okay, the ogress in me is coming out ...after this dissertation on my new freedoms, I cannot resist observing that my hubby, on the other hand, now has a newborn baby--just months shy of his 60th birthday.  Sound like "freedom symbol" to you?  Not!!


Suzanne said...

I love the pearls, oh yeah, oh yeah!!! I treated myself to a choker of Judith Jack pearls with a marcasite closure. My daughter was looking over my shoulder as I purchased and ran back to tell the Farmer, "You won't believe what mom PAID for those." Yep....and I love every moment they are around my neck.

A friend of ours raises Belgian Malinois. They are terrific dogs. Hers are national champion trackers.

As for the baby at at 60 - 'nuff said. His stress and misery are assured. Raising a teenager at age 76 is payback enough. HA.

Hang in there C and V. We've got your back.

Eggs In My Pocket / Yesteryear Embroideries said...

Pearls have always been a favorite of mine! Your new strand is just beautiful and you are so right. This is time for you to have a new life and freedom. Just like the pearl, it has gone through quite a lengthy trial of grinding to get to it's luster and shine, and then in order for anyone to enjoy it....it had to be releasded from the prison of the shell it was held in. So just like a pearl, it's time for you to come out of your shell and shine!! Blessings,Kathleen

Threeblindsheep said...

Good for you! I know this has been a trial that you never wanted to wage, but you have done it with grace-staying true to who you are even when provoked to do otherwise.
Symbols are wonderful, tangible reminders of what we have faced and overcome. No wonder the Israelites stacked white stones and built alters-testimonies to all God had done for them.

Farmchick said...

What an inspiration you are! Obviously, I am in need of some pearls...

KathyB. said...

The pearls are lovely and the indulgence was on sale, after all! As for Belgian Melanois, I have met one, a very smart and nice dog, and I know the breed has an excellent reputation.

Divorce is just plain awful no matter the how, when's and whys, but it does not signal the end of life, so it is so healthy to see your sense of humor and interest in things you love and make you feel good . Hope your MIL is doing much, much better .

More pictures of your dog Chili? Have you obedience trained your dog? How old was Chili when you got him?

This freedom was not your choice, but since it has been granted you,you SHOULD enjoy it with a clear conscience,pearls , puppy, and all!"This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

jan said...

Lovely baubles! I am glad you are 'feeling free' to indulge yourself - and enjoying them so much!

M.Kate said...

Hi there, tks for popping over and allowing me to read your wonderful blog. I think you 'about me' is the most honest yet fun description of both of you and also at the same time so glad that you both have such strong friendship all the way. I think freedom is great and having a kid at 60...is not so much fun, I know my husband gave up nappies at 40, he'll go bonkers with babies now. Love your attitude of life and everything else, proves that when we have a good buddy, life is good. Do come visit often...hugs/M

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Kathy B, my Chili dog is just turning two. He has been somewhat obedience trained: Sit, Stay, Down, Come. "Heel," well not so much... He has not been to class and I think I should take him. He is a brilliant dog, and needs a job. I think he would love it because he and my sheltie live to serve me. If I can order them around, they are in heaven!!

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Kathleen, your comment about the pearls really hit home. Yes, they are beautiful and borne of pain. Thanks for pointing that out--did not occur to me at writing time. C

Vickie said...

Beautiful dog, and I'm glad you went with your instincts. I hope he's a great protector, too.

You deserve those pearls and you wear them 24-7 if you want. Kathleen's comments about the pearls were spot-on!

Sorry, have to laugh about the baby. Poor baby. He may not live to 76!

Mary said...

Great to meet you C - thanks for
stopping by.

I'm glad you were able to spoil yourself and get those fabulous looking pearls.............

.......and for what it's worth, my DH is throwing in his 2 cents by adding......"and I guess he thinks it's HIS baby!!!!!"

Hey girl, get on that stick horse and go have a wonderful life now - you've earned it!

Leslie said...

I am so glad to see you back to blogging and not only because I completely enjoy reading your posts. I have missed you. I am so glad to hear that your MIL is on the mend and working hard at her PT.

The pearls are terrific and I just love that you are doing things that you would not have done in the past. You are on your way to being who you are without him influencing what you buy, eat, do, say, etc. I like your idea of literally putting something on your body everyday that symbolizes that new life.

My dad always influenced how our house was decorated (of all things), my mom didn't get to have the house the way she wanted. When he left, (after a year or so), she completely redecorated in pretty colors and furniture that she liked. Years later when he saw it, he was obviously surprised that it looked different. I guess it was hard for him to see she moved on and wasn't hanging on to the past or he never saw her as an individual.

Janera said...

My internet has been blinky. I wrote a comment to you a few days ago but could never get it to "go", so here I am trying again.

Love the pearls, love the dog (why is it that I can never even housebreak a dog? I love 'em, get 'em, and then can't do a thing with 'em.)

Which reminds me. Is Chili ex-husband trained? you know -- to attack?

Sorry. Sorta. Couldn't resist.

Beautiful pear tree lane said...

Hi C..
Thank you for coming by and leaving me such a sweet comment.
I so love your pearls and your new Belgian Malinois, I enjoyed reading this post, and of your new found freedom,

Sassy Granny ... said...

I am so glad you dropped by my site and were kind enough to leave a comment. I followed you home, and had some great chuckles as a result!

I also thought how much I'd prefer your freedom to his; that 60 something new father - - a struggle of an altogether different sort!

The sassy part of being a granny is something I relish; that and the fabulous other sassies I've encountered here in cyberspace.

Thank you for the intro!


Jody Blue said...

Beautiful pearls, a well deserved treat.

addhumorandfaith said...

Beautiful pearls. Yes, much better than a baby.

Kim said...

Pearls are my absolute favorite! These are beautiful - I look forward to seeing them when I come in December!

Judy (BluffCityLady) said...

I would love it if you would wear those pearls on Nov 7 and meet up with some old friends....you know where! Old friends are a treasure, too.

disa said...


Joy said...

This is all so good, thanks for sharing. I know what you wrote is a few months old now, but still relevant to others. Glad you are out of the Zombie-ism. I went through that too. Too long of a story, and much too personal to share, but it was tough when I left my abusive husband. I have two children, but ended up alone-- once a wife and mother, and then, in the blink of an eye, no longer a wife, and in some respects, no longer a mother. Who was I? It took a long time to get to know myself. I too, had to learn how to do things on my own, especially with the car, and with my own finances. Guess what? I did okay. Although, I pretty much got squat from the divorce ($), like I said to my lawyer, "I don't care. At least I got away." We learn so much in this life, some of which we wish we didn't have to. Divorce is rough and very sad. I don't wish it on anyone. Lots of heartbreak and it truly feels like a death. When my divorce was final, I had the feeling that our marriage was like a piece of paper that had just been tossed into the trash. But, God is good. After some floudering, I found Christ. My hope is in Him. I need to concentrate on building up treasures in heaven and not on earth. This life here is 'but for a moment' in light of eternity. I enjoy your blog.

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