Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

C: Updates

Things were going along swimmingly...poor choice of words: all of a sudden we got soaked with a rain of trouble!  The showers began on Thursday, Sepember 3. I was in trial two counties away, car loaded with supplies from Sam's for V's son's rehearsal dinner the next night, wedding reception the following day. As I exited the courtroom, I was told my office was trying to reach me. My mother-in-law had fallen.

Now, understand that MIL is hale and hearty. A broken hip was the last thing we expected. She had been pulling her little cart around, adding to our burn pile and just suddenly "sat down." She did not feel any pain until she tried to get up. God was certainly watching over her because our carpenter was on duty, finishing up her new well house. He is a neighbor, and his wife came to help, loading her into the car and driving her to the hospital.

The nurses at the hospital were in disbelief that she rode to the hospital in a car, saying that the pain of the hip must have been tremendous. They don't know my MIL! She is a scrapper, to say the least; she will do what is necessary.

I am so happy to report that she is now home and working hard on her physical therapy, gaining strength each day. She is a person of deep faith in God, and she has been an encouragement to me throughout. (And she's the one with the broken hip!).

My sister-in-law has come for two weeks. I felt like the cavalry had arrived because I knew that she would take excellent care of MIL as she gained strength.

Of course, the prodigal returned...Remember my wayward husband who has barely spoken (maybe twice) to his mother in two years? You know, the one who kicked her off this place to begin with? Well, he began to visit the hospital faithfully. This, as you all know, is a mixed bag: there isn't a mother out there who does not understand how MIL must want a relationship with her son. And, yet, his past behaviors put the motives of his present actions into a cloud of suspicion...his present behaviors aren't so hot, either, as you will see.

As of this month hubby is seriously delinquent in his legal obligations to me. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I knew this drama was looming.  I have put up with a lot of social humiliation--at least until I realized it was not I who should be embarrassed!--but now he is impacting me financially without so much as the courtesy of discussion, which has been invited by me.  I began legal proceedings with my own attorney to enforce my agreements, and the paperwork was accurate but strong.  I had told my attorney that I wanted it to be like a Sherman tank.  It was.  (This post is taking on a military theme, isn't it?).  When the process server (whom I know) delivered the papers, it was his chippie who received them, after identifying herself as "Mrs."  The server asked her again, knowing it was a lie, but she reasserted that she was married to him.  (Could she think she is???).

Anyway, retaliation came, although it is weak--what does he have?  You won't believe it...early in our separation I had thought I would sell our little farm, finding the upkeep daunting.  This is reflected in the paperwork.  Later, by agreement, we changed that and he has signed a deed over to me.  But now he has sent me a certified letter demanding that I put the place up for sale and referencing the fact that I have "moved a mobile home onto the place," like it was for a stranger, and not his mother.  He has said in the letter that I should be ready to move it off should the realtor who lists the place demand it!!  If he were successful, this would be the second time he has kicked his mother out!  And, all the while, he is sucking up to her, wanting to visit her out here.  It really is more than she needs to be dealing with...he won't be successful, it's just all he can think of.

Oh, there's more, but this post is too long already.   As I have said, we have much to report, much to post!  I will sum it up now by saying these things:
  • I have gone into some depression with this fight and have not felt like I had the time to post on this blog.  I am thankful that V and I had the weight of the overdue "contest" to bring us back around, because I know now that leaving this blogging thing is not a healthy thing for me to do.  V and I have agreed to push each other to write, because we need to.
  • This episode has reinforced my understanding that life is, really, out of our hands.  One never knows what's ahead.
  • But, then, it has also reinforced this: God is good.  Through all this, He has been with us--with MIL and with me.  He has provided means to care for her, quick healing for her, and LOTS of work for me to keep me more than occupied.  This has given me confidence that He will also see me through this next little trial with my spouse.  In spite of the rain of trouble pouring down, I contemplate the promise of the rainbow and know we will get through this!
V will be sharing as she can.  You don't have a clue yet all she is going through.  You will hear from her in a day or two; we are mulling over how much legally she can share, as she cannot break some legal confidentialities.  Suffice it to say that life dumped on us BOTH at the same time!  What's that about??!!

Thank you all for being there and for your e mails and comments of encouragement.  You are such cheap (and effective) therapy!!!  C.


Threeblindsheep said...

Glad to know that you are both back in the saddle! I've been where you are with your ex. It is incredibly difficult to be in the midst of strife and think that it has an end. It does! God is so much better at being a husband and provider-
Can't wait to catch up with V.

Debbie said...

We've been through many similar circumstances, some worse. But when it's over, (this too shall pass) what sweet joy in the PEACE.
It's a storm now, but you'll come through with a stronger faith in Christ and somewhere along the way God will even give you the grace to forgive that schmuck. Amazing.
Glad you're back.

joolzmac said...

Ah, how I love being called cheap! Spill forth all of your woes, we can't wait to hear them and some good times too. Blogging is therapy for all!

Cheers - Joolz

Good to hear MIL is doing well.

Iron Needles said...

Life provides us the lessons we need. I know this because I have lived this. Glad to hear you are back and muddling through in strong form. Even if you feel kerfuffled by it all. Good thoughts to the MIL.

Anonymous said...

Wow! What alot is going on in your lives!

I can't say I can relate, but I certainly can say I admire how you (and your MIL) are handling it.

Best wishes.

kath001 said...

I passed a church a few minutes ago on the way home, and the sign out front said, "God makes all things possible...not easy." Hang in there. You're in our hearts.

jan said...

Sometimes it seems easier to 'hunker down' and avoid interactions, but it does help when you share the burden with others. I am glad you feel like sharing again, and I hope MIL recovers speedily and fully!

Robynn's Ravings said...

Why is the unbelievable always so believable? Maybe because too many of us have lived it? Yet I find myself saying, "Unbelievable" about your ex! Disgusting behavior and I pray you prevail through it all.

Thanks for checking in and letting us know. Three cheers for your MIL, too!

KathyB. said...

Blogging was and has been the best therapy for me. Reading about other people's lives,( every day, decent people ) and the funny things, the sad things, the common and sweet things...all of it, helped me cope with what I now recognize as a depression that could have caused me and my family so much more distress. also learned a lot of good things, and also how so many wonderful people dealt with tragedies and set backs in their lives and have come through just fine. Battle scarred maybe ( the military theme ) but healed and renewed.

And doesn't it just help to have other people like me say "YOUR EX-HUSBAND IS A JERK OF LOW AND MEAN MANNER, HE IS SLIME!" And how did he ever deserve you in the first place, and how did your stoic and scrappy MIL deserve him as a son? Obviously, given the exemplary behavior she shows , she did not raise him to be thus!And the fact that your SIL is also on your side and helping out, well, you didn't lose everything important when the jerk misbehaved...you have some very important people on your side..HIS FAMILY!

There, enough said. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Glad your MIL is on the mend and I hope you keep that farm , and have a family reunion on it, minus him!

You sure have a way of bouncing back with humor, that is a gift ( and therapy too?)and glad you post it in your blog. Will be praying for you both.

Vickie said...

crap crap crap...what an bottom wiper that man is his poor mother and my the suffering he is putting you thru arghhh some men eh?Hmmboth going thru the wringer at the same time-maybe there is a reason for this event to happen this way...you and V can comfort each other whilst both in great need and then when the skies are clearer you will both be brighter and able to enjoy each day as it unfolds..cheers Vickie

Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

c just wnat you to know I caught up on your blog, glad you wrote:) it does help:) I am thankful M-I-L is doign so well, and I am at a loss for words about C, all I can say is hold your head high!

audrey y said...

There are many things about your post that are similar to what I have experienced more than once in my 78 years, but the one I am commenting on is how you wanted to give up the blogging and definetely the writing. There was a strong feeling of "just let me alone."

Your friend was right to push you not to quit. The part of us that is depressed wants to sit in a chair and stare at the t.v. When we do this we just get deeper into that pit of self-pity.

May God help you to "look up" as one of my daughters keeps telling me.

Audrey--homesteaders daughter

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