Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Saturday, August 29, 2009

C: Ranting

Just when you thought levity was going to reign for a while in this blog, I have to have a middle-of-the-night rant episode. Sorry. I've just had it. It has been a long week, and this one has been particularly full of sorry-men stories for me--even for a divorce lawyer, they've been coming out of the woodwork at an amazing rate. A bunch of them in their 50's and, I can tell you, I am relating...as you know...ad nauseum, I'm sure. And I'm helping women deal with the wreckage of their lives that they don't deserve.

This week has caused me to think on this subject on a larger scale. Look at these folks:

Here's poor SC Governor Mark Sanford. He's just lookin' for love...in all the wrong places. See how sorry he is--wipin' his tears away an' all?

Yesterday Politico website reported that, according to recent polls, half his constituency favor his stepping down as a result of his affair with the Argentine bombshell. Only about a third will say they think he should stay. Good for them! If they can't be honest with their families, why should we allow these folks the trust of public office?

Let me share some of my favorite Sanford quotes:
It is my personal view that the largest proclamation of one's faith ought to be in how one lives his life. (ABC, June 5, 2008)

And then,a year later, he proclaimed that he could
"...die, knowing I've met my soulmate." (A reference to his S. American tart, not his wife and mother of his children).

Yes, sir! Livin' that faith out in his life, isn't he?

And, then, there's prince-of-a-family-man, John Edwards; you know, the one with the folksy smile and the steadfast wife who is dying of breast cancer? He cheated on his wife and kids (because, never let it be forgotten, that the children and extended family are also victims of the adultery hurricane).

PLEASE GET THIS: he let his wife write a freakin' book about his "past" affair and go on a national book tour thinking "Whew! That was tough but we made it past!!" All the while he was still diddling where he should not be!! And now he has moved this woman under his long-suffering wife's nose.

The disrespect is amazing. Don't you think he could at least tell his wife of decades that she was about to present to the world that he was repentant when he was not? Of course he could not do that! This is because men in this frame of mind think only in the moment and only about themselves. Reminds me of when I found out that my H had brought his honey to my home. Tells you lots about them both, doesn't it? And it is just a clue as to how far gone men in this situation become...only one thing on their minds, and it does not include kindness to their families.

You know the suspect list: Bill Clinton ("I never had sex with that woman") who also let his wife go on national television to defend his sorry butt. There's good old Elliot Spitzer, who was governor of New York and spent--do you remember?--over $80,000 on prostitutes!!! (And that's just what can be found!).

I could go on and on, which is the nature of a rant, but you know the names of others (John McCain, Newt Gingrich... yadayadayada). These are attractive, talented men who have a gift for leadership and who have much to offer us in the way of public service. Too bad their actions should disqualify them for those positions--as I say, if their families don't trust them, why should we? We shouldn't. Period.

I think the real reason for my rant is the wives. I have spent time with women who have worked their fingers to the bone, building retirement funds that they are now going to have to share with their wayward husbands. I am STILL having to remind these women that their husbands of decades have now become their enemies, and that is not too strong a word. These guiltless women will, statistically, have a much, much harder financial life following their divorce than their husbands will have. And there is just only so much I can do about it. It is, as you can see, keeping me a bit awake at night.

And, as for you women who participate as "the other woman" in this, shame on you! There is no excuse for adultery, none whatsoever--not even your "special" circumstances...quit it, now. By the way, he's lying to you, too--oh, yes he is, absolutely. Okay, I'm stopping at that--whole 'nother rant.

Thanks for tolerating this, those of you who have made it this far. I'm going to sleep now and might just regret pushing that "publish" button, but oh well...



KathyB. said...

I totally agree with you. One of the dear woman and her daughters who have been right along side us in helping our son and his daughters ( yes, there are MEN on the same end of the nasty betrayed list as the women you mentioned)during the heart breaking betrayal of his wife and his divorce -was herself the victim of a husband she loved dearly who left her and their 5, yes FIVE children ,to take up with the grown schoolmate of their oldest daughter. And not only that, the yucky husband and his honey live and work in the same locale as the ex-wife and the grown children..and they see each other inadvertently on occasion.The yucky husband, his new honey and THEIR new baby!

Adultery is the ultimate betrayal, and the heartbreak it causes cannot ever be adequately stated ,nor can the damage it causes the betrayed spouse and children. Adultery is a funny ha ha joke on many T.V. comedies and movies, but making light of it and the consequences is tragic given the reality of them.I hurt for you, my son, my friend, and so many ....rant on Stick horse cowgirl!

BTW, those politicians deserve NO respect and no re-election. If they can lie and cheat on the wife of their youth, the mother of their children, then we know they ARE lying and cheating us!

Anonymous said...

I agree with you. We should not trust these politicians.

Threeblindsheep said...

Rant on! Women, especially the 'nice' ones, need to hear that they can and need to stand up to the stranger they once called husband. He is no longer to be trusted-his past and current actions prove it.

Debbie said...

I totally agree with you! Let us all join hands and rant in unison!
If those politicians had an ounce of integrity (which they've already proven that they obviously don't) they'd resign and get their wounded, bleeding families out of the limelights. They aren't about to do that. Too much support from other moral=less constituents. If a man will disregard the good of his own flesh and blood, the Bible says he's no better than an infidel. Infidels, all of them!
And I can't understand the "OTHER" women that would take a chance on a philanderer. Once a cheat, always a cheat! You got a cheating has-been, Honey! That felt good.

Anonymous said...

Rant all you want. It is so sadly, obviously true everything you say. I don't trust anyone in politics anymore. I hate to see someone I think is a good man even get elected, all the shitty stuff rubs off.

Patty said...

Never did trust a polititian.In my world they call it letting their little head run away with their big one.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

KathyB is right: women betray, too. But Men were on my special list today and maybe someday I will post on the differences between men and women in this area (statistically, I mean) because there is one...

Debbie, you're right about the need for unity, here. Society exacts very little punishment for these transgressions in the long run (not as it used to be) and, I'm afraid, the law is following suit.

Sheep M knows whereof she speaks. And QMMM, I love your way with words!! So apt.

Patty, hear, hear! My son says, "It was never meant to be a decision-making tool!!"

Thanks to you all for your indulgence. I feel better this morning and the rant surely had something to do with that!C

jan said...

I am glad that some women have you to help them advocate for themselves!

Melissa said...

You know I used to really adore John Edwards. I thought he was the perfect husband and father, then I heard the news about his affair. It broke my heart, maybe because I feel a connection with his wife through her disease. She is a better woman than I am. I am just thankful that I can trust my husband.

John Edwards on the other hand, is a politician through and through.

Farmchick said...

Love this rant. I am with ya!

Kim said...

Rant away C. YOu are right on target.

joolzmac said...

I believe Dr. Phil quite often tells the 'other woman' that he has on his shows .... "If he's prepared to cheat on his wife, then chances are he is prepared to cheat on you too!"

I've actually seen it happen (but slightly in reverse). My sister's ex shacked up with another woman 20 years his junior. Then that girl had an affair with someone else! Too funny! Call it Karma!

Cheers - Joolz

the Provident Woman said...

You can't trust people who would cheat on their family to not back stab everyone else.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Good rant! I agree with all of it! My husband is lawyer though, and I work in his office. You are right, most men divorcing wives have another woman in the wings, and most of them are the enemy of their wives during a divorce. However, I've seen women who are so bitter and angry that they cannot even form a rational thought about their divorces or their children. It just hurts me to see them allowing their anger to ruin the rest of their lives and especially their children's lives.
I have NEVER understood why a woman, who has had an affair with a married man, ends up marrying him and then be shocked and angry when he leaves her for yet a younger woman! Sorry, I've written a post in your comment section. laurie

Hilary said...

I can't say that I disagree with a thing you've said. A perfectly rational rant to me. I've known too many whose lives have fallen apart after adultery. It's so damaging in so many ways. Trust is so essential in the making of any relationship - emotional and political.

Iron Needles said...

You know....I know...and I just am not sure what to add. Except it's a hard place that we sometimes find ourselves as the betrayed. Denial is a nice warm blanket, and it is hard to through it off, even when the facts stare us in the face. For those of us who played fair for so long, and believed that would end us somewhere...fairly...it sometimes takes a while to come awake and see what is in front of us.

Not disagreeing, not defending. Just saying. I, too, am glad you are an advocate for women who might not see things clearly.

Eggs In My Pocket / Yesteryear Embroideries said...

I so agree with your words. I think the hardest thing about all of this is that it makes one hard to trust anyone these days. I think I am even more afraid for my children and who they will one day turn their hearts over to. blessings,Kathleen

Amy T. said...

Yeah, i agree on the "other woman". I had a friend that openly slept with married men. I asked her how she could do that knowing that they were married. She said if they are willing then why not. I was horrified by that. It really bothered me. Yes they should think before they act. Sometimes they don't know that they are married, because they are being lied to as well. But as soon as they find out they should hi-tail it out of there.

Anonymous said...

Rant on, friend. You and the other commenters have certainly addressed this subject eloquently.

BTW, seeing the picture of Elliott Spitzer and his wife reminded me of a discussion on another blog at that time. It was first pointed out by one commenter that the scarf Mrs. Spitzer was wearing around her neck was one that had the state seal on it. Another commenter then said, "Would anyone be surprised if he was found dead in an alley the next morning with a scarf with the state seal on it stuffed down his throat?!"

Leslie said...

Right on! Not only the politicians but the clergy make me gag too with all their tears and begging for forgiveness. I can not stand how when no one knows about what they are doing behind closed doors they walk around preaching about how adultery (or even being gay) is a sin yet they are deep into the enjoyment of it all right when they step down from the pulpit. Hypocrites get me sick. I liked your rant. My mom and I have one of these rants every time we here about another one.

Twisted Fencepost said...

I live in SC and I think the only difference in Mr. Sanford and the others....HE GOT CAUGHT.
I've been divorced once due to a cheating husband. When you give your heart and soul to another and they throw it away. Then, they deserve what they get!
And you know what's really funny...it's when the one they were cheating with begins to worry that it will happen to them. That's what they get for messing with a married man.

Vee said...

We had a good chuckle over Gov. Sanford, the first guy ever on the Appalachian Trail to Brazil. That's some long trail. Yes, I agree with you. Completely. Then, I also agree that we can forgive and not forget. You are doing God's work. Hope that you share with these women that their very best revenge is to live a beautiful life. It's all about them now!

audrey y said...

Hello, Ladies. Haven't seen you for awhile. Maybe you have been in the same place I've been...which is hiding out from many and varied family, "moments" which I actually love, but just have to have something to complain about.

I'm with you on most of the men/women subject. At one time I worked at a community center counciling women who had been married many years and found themselves without a husband and fearful of the outside world. I've heard many sad stories.

It's something of a dilemma...When and if we make the decision to love someone we need to be ready to hurt in some way. Perhaps you won't agree with me, but it seems that love brings hurt with it. Somehow, some way, maybe soon, maybe later and most of the time that's okay because it isn't always a cruel thng...only the result of giving yourself up to love and who would want to miss that.

I'm not referring to physical abuse, etc. Those characters need some straightening out...way out!

Sorry didn't mean to rattle on and I don't feel as if I have made myself clear.

Bless you


Me said...

Hear ye Hear ye. . .I am in agreement with this rant.

Anonymous said...


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