C: Ranting
Just when you thought levity was going to reign for a while in this blog, I have to have a middle-of-the-night rant episode. Sorry. I've just had it. It has been a long week, and this one has been particularly full of sorry-men stories for me--even for a divorce lawyer, they've been coming out of the woodwork at an amazing rate. A bunch of them in their 50's and, I can tell you, I am relating...as you know...ad nauseum, I'm sure. And I'm helping women deal with the wreckage of their lives that they don't deserve.
This week has caused me to think on this subject on a larger scale. Look at these folks:
Here's poor SC Governor Mark Sanford. He's just lookin' for love...in all the wrong places. See how sorry he is--wipin' his tears away an' all?
Yesterday Politico website reported that, according to recent polls, half his constituency favor his stepping down as a result of his affair with the Argentine bombshell. Only about a third will say they think he should stay. Good for them! If they can't be honest with their families, why should we allow these folks the trust of public office?
Let me share some of my favorite Sanford quotes:
And then,a year later, he proclaimed that he could
Yes, sir! Livin' that faith out in his life, isn't he?
And, then, there's prince-of-a-family-man, John Edwards; you know, the one with the folksy smile and the steadfast wife who is dying of breast cancer?
He cheated on his wife and kids (because, never let it be forgotten, that the children and extended family are also victims of the adultery hurricane).
PLEASE GET THIS: he let his wife write a freakin' book about his "past" affair and go on a national book tour thinking "Whew! That was tough but we made it past!!" All the while he was still diddling where he should not be!! And now he has moved this woman under his long-suffering wife's nose.
The disrespect is amazing. Don't you think he could at least tell his wife of decades that she was about to present to the world that he was repentant when he was not? Of course he could not do that! This is because men in this frame of mind think only in the moment and only about themselves. Reminds me of when I found out that my H had brought his honey to my home. Tells you lots about them both, doesn't it? And it is just a clue as to how far gone men in this situation become...only one thing on their minds, and it does not include kindness to their families.
You know the suspect list: Bill Clinton ("I never had sex with that woman") who also
let his wife go on national television to defend his sorry butt. There's good old Elliot Spitzer, w
ho was governor of New York and spent--do you remember?--over $80,000 on prostitutes!!! (And that's just what can be found!).
I could go on and on, which is the nature of a rant, but you know the names of others (John McCain, Newt Gingrich... yadayadayada). These are attractive, talented men who have a gift for leadership and who have much to offer us in the way of public service. Too bad their actions should disqualify them for those positions--as I say, if their families don't trust them, why should we? We shouldn't. Period.
I think the real reason for my rant is the wives. I have spent time with women who have worked their fingers to the bone, building retirement funds that they are now going to have to share with their wayward husbands. I am STILL having to remind these women that their husbands of decades have now become their enemies, and that is not too strong a word. These guiltless women will, statistically, have a much, much harder financial life following their divorce than their husbands will have. And there is just only so much I can do about it. It is, as you can see, keeping me a bit awake at night.
And, as for you women who participate as "the other woman" in this, shame on you! There is no excuse for adultery, none whatsoever--not even your "special" circumstances...quit it, now. By the way, he's lying to you, too--oh, yes he is, absolutely. Okay, I'm stopping at that--whole 'nother rant.
Thanks for tolerating this, those of you who have made it this far. I'm going to sleep now and might just regret pushing that "publish" button, but oh well...
C
This week has caused me to think on this subject on a larger scale. Look at these folks:
Here's poor SC Governor Mark Sanford. He's just lookin' for love...in all the wrong places. See how sorry he is--wipin' his tears away an' all? Yesterday Politico website reported that, according to recent polls, half his constituency favor his stepping down as a result of his affair with the Argentine bombshell. Only about a third will say they think he should stay. Good for them! If they can't be honest with their families, why should we allow these folks the trust of public office?
Let me share some of my favorite Sanford quotes:
It is my personal view that the largest proclamation of one's faith ought to be in how one lives his life. (ABC, June 5, 2008)
And then,a year later, he proclaimed that he could
"...die, knowing I've met my soulmate." (A reference to his S. American tart, not his wife and mother of his children).
Yes, sir! Livin' that faith out in his life, isn't he?
And, then, there's prince-of-a-family-man, John Edwards; you know, the one with the folksy smile and the steadfast wife who is dying of breast cancer?
He cheated on his wife and kids (because, never let it be forgotten, that the children and extended family are also victims of the adultery hurricane). PLEASE GET THIS: he let his wife write a freakin' book about his "past" affair and go on a national book tour thinking "Whew! That was tough but we made it past!!" All the while he was still diddling where he should not be!! And now he has moved this woman under his long-suffering wife's nose.
The disrespect is amazing. Don't you think he could at least tell his wife of decades that she was about to present to the world that he was repentant when he was not? Of course he could not do that! This is because men in this frame of mind think only in the moment and only about themselves. Reminds me of when I found out that my H had brought his honey to my home. Tells you lots about them both, doesn't it? And it is just a clue as to how far gone men in this situation become...only one thing on their minds, and it does not include kindness to their families.
You know the suspect list: Bill Clinton ("I never had sex with that woman") who also
let his wife go on national television to defend his sorry butt. There's good old Elliot Spitzer, w
ho was governor of New York and spent--do you remember?--over $80,000 on prostitutes!!! (And that's just what can be found!). I could go on and on, which is the nature of a rant, but you know the names of others (John McCain, Newt Gingrich... yadayadayada). These are attractive, talented men who have a gift for leadership and who have much to offer us in the way of public service. Too bad their actions should disqualify them for those positions--as I say, if their families don't trust them, why should we? We shouldn't. Period.
I think the real reason for my rant is the wives. I have spent time with women who have worked their fingers to the bone, building retirement funds that they are now going to have to share with their wayward husbands. I am STILL having to remind these women that their husbands of decades have now become their enemies, and that is not too strong a word. These guiltless women will, statistically, have a much, much harder financial life following their divorce than their husbands will have. And there is just only so much I can do about it. It is, as you can see, keeping me a bit awake at night.
And, as for you women who participate as "the other woman" in this, shame on you! There is no excuse for adultery, none whatsoever--not even your "special" circumstances...quit it, now. By the way, he's lying to you, too--oh, yes he is, absolutely. Okay, I'm stopping at that--whole 'nother rant.
Thanks for tolerating this, those of you who have made it this far. I'm going to sleep now and might just regret pushing that "publish" button, but oh well...
C
Comments
Adultery is the ultimate betrayal, and the heartbreak it causes cannot ever be adequately stated ,nor can the damage it causes the betrayed spouse and children. Adultery is a funny ha ha joke on many T.V. comedies and movies, but making light of it and the consequences is tragic given the reality of them.I hurt for you, my son, my friend, and so many ....rant on Stick horse cowgirl!
BTW, those politicians deserve NO respect and no re-election. If they can lie and cheat on the wife of their youth, the mother of their children, then we know they ARE lying and cheating us!
If those politicians had an ounce of integrity (which they've already proven that they obviously don't) they'd resign and get their wounded, bleeding families out of the limelights. They aren't about to do that. Too much support from other moral=less constituents. If a man will disregard the good of his own flesh and blood, the Bible says he's no better than an infidel. Infidels, all of them!
And I can't understand the "OTHER" women that would take a chance on a philanderer. Once a cheat, always a cheat! You got a cheating has-been, Honey! That felt good.
Deb
QMM
Debbie, you're right about the need for unity, here. Society exacts very little punishment for these transgressions in the long run (not as it used to be) and, I'm afraid, the law is following suit.
Sheep M knows whereof she speaks. And QMMM, I love your way with words!! So apt.
Patty, hear, hear! My son says, "It was never meant to be a decision-making tool!!"
Thanks to you all for your indulgence. I feel better this morning and the rant surely had something to do with that!C
John Edwards on the other hand, is a politician through and through.
I've actually seen it happen (but slightly in reverse). My sister's ex shacked up with another woman 20 years his junior. Then that girl had an affair with someone else! Too funny! Call it Karma!
Cheers - Joolz
I have NEVER understood why a woman, who has had an affair with a married man, ends up marrying him and then be shocked and angry when he leaves her for yet a younger woman! Sorry, I've written a post in your comment section. laurie
Not disagreeing, not defending. Just saying. I, too, am glad you are an advocate for women who might not see things clearly.
BTW, seeing the picture of Elliott Spitzer and his wife reminded me of a discussion on another blog at that time. It was first pointed out by one commenter that the scarf Mrs. Spitzer was wearing around her neck was one that had the state seal on it. Another commenter then said, "Would anyone be surprised if he was found dead in an alley the next morning with a scarf with the state seal on it stuffed down his throat?!"
I've been divorced once due to a cheating husband. When you give your heart and soul to another and they throw it away. Then, they deserve what they get!
And you know what's really funny...it's when the one they were cheating with begins to worry that it will happen to them. That's what they get for messing with a married man.
I'm with you on most of the men/women subject. At one time I worked at a community center counciling women who had been married many years and found themselves without a husband and fearful of the outside world. I've heard many sad stories.
It's something of a dilemma...When and if we make the decision to love someone we need to be ready to hurt in some way. Perhaps you won't agree with me, but it seems that love brings hurt with it. Somehow, some way, maybe soon, maybe later and most of the time that's okay because it isn't always a cruel thng...only the result of giving yourself up to love and who would want to miss that.
I'm not referring to physical abuse, etc. Those characters need some straightening out...way out!
Sorry didn't mean to rattle on and I don't feel as if I have made myself clear.
Bless you
Audrey