RANT WARNING. C: Fitness to Serve?
Here’s the scenario:
He’s a fifty-something married judge looking for a new law clerk. She’s a bright, beautiful 24-year-old graduating lawyer. She comes to work for him. He has a policy of a one-year-only term for law clerks. He breaks policy for her, ostensibly because she is so very competent in her job…She stays on two years. Only one to do it…
She marries and begins her family.
Flash forward five years to right now. He’s in his late 50’s and has his eye on the state Supreme Court, the highest judicial office in the state. She has been in private practice for three years with a big firm in town. She has two children under four years of age with a handsome man her own age.
She works on the Judge’s campaign.
You’re already onto this story, I know. It burst into our papers over the weekend: She and the Judge have been having an affair. It has broken up her household. Her husband has actually named the judge in his divorce action.
What the Judge’s wife has to say about it has not been revealed. I can imagine.
The scuttlebutt in the community is that “This is the ‘real’ thing…they are truly in love,” like that matters to the grieving spouses and the two little children. Like that makes it okay.
Election is right around the corner. Judge is not disputing the facts as stated (“No comment…this is a personal matter”), nor is his wife saying anything. What the Judge says is, “Dirty politics!!”
Really? Amazing.
In the meantime, he is sitting on the bench. He does not hear all that many divorce cases, but he does hear some.
Adultery is a stated ground for divorce in our state (which still requires grounds). It is an issue that is often before a divorce court.
Should I be uneasy taking my adultery cases before him? Is there going to be a tendency for him to “understand” when a person “strays” from the marriage because of “love,” “lust,” or “we just grew apart?” Is that okay?
Is he fit for office at the highest legal level? Or is this purely a “personal” matter, and should we elect him on his merits as a judge, disregarding any personal matters?
To the right you will see a survey of two simple questions, the top two items in the right-hand column. Please take a moment and click on the responses. I need your balance here—I need to be checked if I’m wrong. I’m listening. C.
Comments
Do I think adultery is right? No. Do I think this man can't do his job properly because he had this affair? I don't think we can say that. How can you possibly know. It is your right to either vote him in or out of office, and there in lies your voice.
Karen and Paul, thanks for the thought-provokers. C
I'm also a Christian. In the church, if someone in our leadership ever finds themself in a similar position, that person steps down or is asked to step down. We're all human, but people in leading roles should set good examples and be above reproach.
I know I sound harsh, but that is my belief. Allowing our elected officials to continue ruling when their lives are in shambles does not promote confidence in their abilities. It does not set a good example for our kids either. How can you teach your kid integrity when public figures, elected or sports heroes or hollywood starts, live their lives doing whatever they want and appearing to get away with it????? Allowing these figures to continue only reinforces the beliefs that for the rest of the public, "whatever goes" is a fine way to live! It's the "ME" generation! If it feels good, do it! and to heck with what anyone else thinks or says.
An aside here ---- Besides that, EVEN Dr. Laura says that when you marry and have kids, you stay together for the sake of the kids, you work out some kind of friendly arrangement that you both can live with where both parents stay in the home. The kids growing up well adjusted and happy become infinitely more important than any carnal desires that the adults may have. I think it's good advice, Biblical as far as not divorcing, and makes perfect sense for the kids.
I also believe in forgiveness from God and from our fellowman. It's a hard decision. Karen's right - it's a rather grey area. Nobody's perfect - and "let him who is sinless cast the first stone". I know what I would do, but everyone has to make their own decision about whether to keep this guy in office or not. I would not want him as my personal judge. I think he should be voted out, and he can live his private life however he wants away from public eyes and opinions and without setting a bad example to others around him. And that lady attorney can do the same thing.
There, sorry so long, but you asked. ;)
What about timing? I mean, if they are in love, what about asking for a divorce and getting one before straying into adultery? I am not for staying together for the children if the home is going to be a hell; sometimes one gets a divorce for the children.
As for the hurt spouses... be grateful that you can let these two jokers go while you still have time to get on with your own lives. Who would seriosly want to be married to either one? They deserve each other, but let them slither off into the sunset. They don't belong in public office.
divorce hurts, but both of them should have gotten divorced before they played house...esp. when HE wants to advance his career -- one where character is crucial!
also hope her hubby and children/his spouse get counseling.
it can almost make you hope his *parts* won't work anymore now & that she brings an std to the relationship.
ooohhh, boy i'm a mean one today. sorry. :( i repent.
Sadly, the young woman is probably not the judge's first affair. Wives of offenders tend to hang on and tolerate/be silent of husbands' philanderings. So, I'm thinking it's a deadly character flaw in this man: Seducing a young, newly-married woman with very young children. Death to a young, promising family. Young women, no matter how "bright", are no match for middle-age pervs' sick charm; jaded, disgusting, old punk not giving one care as to destroying lives and a young family, but only to soothing his aging sexual fantasies. The man knew exactly what he was doing; he made it through law school, didn't he? Makes me sick; can you tell?
An intelligent man who knowingly does this to a young family without guilt toward his wife and their marriage union doesn't need to sit in judgment of others.
C, you can really pull out good discussion from us!
I do think he could be a judge, but ought to recuse himself from any divorce cases.
I was referring to human emotion and the messy business that is relationships.
I am not an adulterer...but I will not hang people out to dry when I do not fully know their circumstances. I know there is an awful lot of hurt and poor judgement and selfishness out there, I've experienced some of it myself. But I don't think I want to walk around as a bitter angry woman who accuses all people who find themselves in a bad situation and perhaps don't take the road I'de like them to, simply because it's "right" according to me.
I don't think you can really know what you'de do in that situation unless you were actually in their shoes. So to judge isn't really fair. No pun intended.
Just my opinion, I don't mean to offend anyone with it either.
I wouldn't want to take a case in front of him either. The sacrement of marriage is colored by how little he thought of "the law" of marriage.
I would want him off the bench if I was a constituent. There would be no question...you play, you pay. Many people have had to step down once their falanderings were made public. It is the only respectable thing to do.
Do I think they should wear Letter A's? No, I feel that if the couple wishes to persue their loving relationship, than they should do it without objection, but not with him as a sitting judge being paid by the state.
Scripture says that God hates divorce and it is only allowed because of the hardness of the heart. Divorce for any reason is sad, but when adultery is involved it is particularly hurtful for the wronged spouse because of the rejection and betrayal. Marriage is a covenant which ideally should never be broken, but sometimes divorce is necessary when adultery and abuse are involved.
I do think (my opinion for what it's worth)lol-- that someone who will be "judging" cases involving adultery should step down because they are held to a higher standard. In their personal life, their behavior should be exemplary and above reproach. No one is perfect or beyond forgiveness, but sometimes our behavior has consequences. It just does. Who of us hasn't suffered consequences for foolish misbehavior?
It no longer seems to disqualify politicians for office, but adultery certainly is an indicator of one's character. If you don't blink an eye betraying your spouse, then why would you feel bad about lying to your constituents--or anyone. -We are human and our frame is weak--we can be forgiven, but we can still disqualify ourselves and suffer the consequences. This doesn't just apply to adultery--I know I've been guilty of spending more than I could afford and believe me I suffered the consequences! I got lazy with my checkbook, and I paid the consequences, etc.
I know that if I had been betrayed by my spouse and I learned that the judge hearing my divorce had been guilty of adultery also, I would not want him as my judge. I just wouldn't trust his integrity or judgement. I think that is what it all boils down to--none of us is without sin or perfect, but what we're discussing here is integrity. I don't wish to offend anyone either--but I only know I would have a problem with trust.
Ditto for his lady friend.
Of course we as humans are fallible, but he is a judge, and a judge carries a great deal of responsibility for , well...JUDGING !So, lest we get carried away by all this 'nonjudgmental' commentary remember, this guy is paid ( maybe elected?) to judge law and based on his moral problems right now, he should excuse himself from the bench, and seek the wisdom, guidance, and solutions to his fall from the ultimate judge, GOD ~
Joahn Nixon
jammer mobile phone
I would not vote for him.
I mean, how hard can it be to just be spontaneous. It is. And sometimes you just can't post random shit like this.
I write like mad, every day, and no one visits my blog, that looks similar to yours. What could I be doing wrong?
Look at me I'm posting comments. Feels good, I hope my ramblings don't get removed by the admins :)
I think, therefore I am. I think.