C: It Takes So Little to Amuse Me

Let me just say this right up front: I am no housekeeper. I’ve said it before, but you have no idea how much it needs to be restated. I am only hoping that all those beautiful pictures of my blogging friends’ houses are staged, at least to some degree. In the interests of full disclosure, you need to know that if you see a “tablescape” or floral arrangement from my home, it most likely will never be done with any kind of wide-angle. Believe me; I can only manage “neat-and-tidy” in the smallest of areas, tenuously-contained against the happy chaos of the rest of my home.

Let’s put it this way: I’ve often envisioned what would happen if I just up and disappeared….police would, naturally, be called. They’d look around for clues and immediately conclude that there are signs of a struggle. My friends, however, would solemnly shake their heads and reply, “No, officer, no clue there—this is just the way she lived…

I could make excuses, I suppose, but I have long since decided that I am me and nobody else. My chaotic house is not a function of laziness. It is a function of busy, busy plus lots of interests. I am interested in everything. Therefore, I have books piled everywhere on every imaginable subject and fiction of every imaginable genre. And, folks, I NEVER get rid of a book.

I have magazines from the usual Martha Stewarts to the unusual literary magazines. I have a veritable craft store, heavy on the paper (for which I have a fetish). Look, I have a saddle on a saddle rack in my bedroom. It is a stylish, unusual accoutrement for my boudoir décor—except that right now it has clothes hanging off it. Get the picture? (No, actually, you won’t get a picture of my boudoir…)

And, of course, there’s this blogging thing, which I’d ten times rather do than run the vacuum.

With that background, you will understand what an extreme irony it is that I went in search on the worldwide web for a way to actually fold fitted sheets. Now, this is counterintuitive, isn’t it? Who would have thought that a non-neat-freak would give a rip about folding fitted sheets? Well, here’s what drove me to it; my downstairs linen closet:


Enough said? (I’m trusting you to still love me after this revelation.)

And I found out how, BUT WAIT!! I found something even more interesting! (Think I’m ADD? Yep!). I stumbled upon this wonderful video on “How to Fold a T Shirt!” Let me tell you, I fastened onto this with the hyperfocus that only an ADD person can manage. Just look at this:



After much (MUCH!) practice, I have mastered my "good solid" pinches. So, I’m now happily folding my T-shirts as they come out of the dryer, and they look so neat and pretty stacked up. Just like in the stores. Colors so reminiscent of Easter eggs.




Fascinating (for some of us, at least. Well, one of us at least). I’ve never had this concentration of “neat-and-tidy” before. It’s actually a little out of hand—I’ve been going in search of T-shirts to fold. We’ll see how long it takes for the “new” to wear off.

Oh, yeah. Back to that sheet-folding thing: there is a “proper” way to fold fitted sheets, and this genteel woman was kind enough to share with us:



Actually, I think Jill exaggerates: folding fitted sheets is not really one of my biggest challenges, but whatever...Pretty neat, though,huh? (Like that double entendre?). But, me? I’m busy folding those T-shirts! (so much fun). And, now that I know how to properly fold a fitted sheet, here’s what my linen closet looks like:



Sigh. Maybe soon….I’ll keep you posted. C.

Comments

Vickie said…
Oh you is a classic-go seek help right away-who woulda thunk it that you'd be running around madly searching for tees to fold eh? Now them sheets are another story..I was taught how to fold them many years ago-and nope I don't do it ...hubby brings the washing in off the line and he folds as he removes the pegs and every week he apologizes for the bunched up fitted sheet-man no way do I whisper a comment , that's fine dear I say-like hey he folds everything else perfect .And I am jealous of your linen closet waaaaaaah I don't have one-although Mr smarty pantz has told me that if I emptied my "stuff" out of the cupboard int he spare room it would fit all my linen perfectly, pfft fat chance,cheers vickie
Anita said…
Hey girl I just love that linen closet every home should have one like it. Infact one of my sons cupboards looks a bit like that. Makes me feel like I'm home. Kind regards, Anita
Vickie said…
I've always wondered about that. I'll try it - my linen closet looks just like yours!
Anonymous said…
Oh C, you are wonderful. That was a perfect post. Full of information, very important facts indeed, and sprinkled with humor. I did a post on my house one day, where do you create, and I shot my kitchen table just like it looks, piled up with paint etc and my desk just the way it was, a mess. Yes If I had staged it that would have been an untruth. You are just a hoot and a hollar away from being a comedian.
QMM
Zuzana said…
Ah, I so enjoyed this post!! Absolutely delightful.;) My closets too sometimes look like a total mess, mostly the ones where I keep my clothes.;)
The 2s t-shirt folding clip was amazing, I watched it several times.
xo
Zuzana
Debbie said…
Thank goodness you can't do everything perfectly; I'm already envious of your education and profession! I tried that shirt fold deal and it works! AND I've been wondering for years how to fold fitted sheets! I just kind of rolled them up and smashed them up into the linen shelf!I can't wait to show my family how to do that. It's been a long time since I was able to teach them anything. I think I might put together a class at church! This news should be shared!
How your blog lifts my spirits!
Debbie
carla said…
Thank you so much for your honesty about housekeeping. I already feel better and not-so-alone. Those pictures of perfect houses on some of the blogs I love are actually depressing to me. Although I don't have the excuse of a busy career or job, I do have minor health considerations: arthritis and fibromyalgia. Never a bundle of energy, I have even less now. I would love to have a clean house, but I want more out of life than that and I have no desire to devote all my energy to it.

Did someone say they love books?! The magazine collection has actually been reduced, but some of them must stay for now; books tend to find a permanent home with me.

Do you do paper crafts?
carla said…
Oh, I forgot the thing about fitted sheets. My mother developed heart trouble when I was 3 and she was 43. She took a class where they were taught to do household chores in a simpler, less stressful way, and one of them was folding sheets. Alas, I've forgotten the method and Mama has Alzheimer's, but maybe my sister remembers. Maybe it's the same as your video, which I will watch now.

One last thing about housekeeping: about 30 years ago a friend of mine gave me her description of a true friend - someone who would come clean out your closets after you die and would still love you anyway.
Melissa said…
There is one thing that I learned in life. No matter how you fold a fitted sheet, it still ends up in the same place.

So, here's to messily folded sheets and shirts.
Joolz said…
Hey C

I think I must be "tee shirt folding illiterate". I came across that video long ago and I still can't get it to work right - I get my left and right hands mixed up and I give up! And fitted sheets were made to be rolled up blobs in linen cupboards - that's another thing I haven't mastered.

Ok - I will watch these videos and let you know how I go!

Cheers - Joolz
Michelle said…
I do believe I would rather blog than do housework of any kind. Housework just sucks the brainpower/creativity right out of you.
Kat_RN said…
At least you had an excuse. My Mother taught me how to fold fitted sheats several decades ago. My linnen closet looks a lot like yours. I feel a little better now, I think I will come back to read your blog again.
Thanks,
Kat
jan said…
I just put the sheets on the bed after I wash them. They don't take up any room in the linen closet! I am with you on housework! My husband is much better at it than I am, and he cares more about it. So I let him do it!
I am laughing out loud! You are so funny! I did watch the t shirt folder a couple of times. He's amazing! And your stack of t shirts does look so nice and neat! That is the way I fold sheets for a twin bed, but when I get to those king sized sheets, my arms just aren't long enough, so my k.s. sheets look like yours in the linen closet. I've got to get that t shirt folding thing down though! I did forget about being "in high cotton". laurie
KathyB. said…
I LOVE this post! I agree with you, folding fitted sheets is NOT and NEVER will be one of my biggest challenges...I don't care if they take up too much space folded wrong...properly folded sheets are not anywhere near high on my list of things that cause me grief or annoyance...now if someone could tell me how to stop the dogs from shedding all over the place ( short of not having dogs) or how to get more time in a 24 hour day without losing sleep..THAT would free me up to actually give a care about how to fold fitted sheets!

However, I did find that video very enlightening, and now I do know how to properly fold fitted sheets. Thank-you for this educational post!And hey, looks like you have a new hobby you can share with others, or help yourself find employment in department stores...folding T-shirts.
MsTypo said…
I'm impressed you mastered the samurai fold. I always mess up when i try it. (Yup, i'm that lame.)

As for folding fitted sheets. Bah! Creativity should be encouraged in this area. :p
Anonymous said…
What a great post! I had seen a video of the t-shirt folding before, but I hadn't seen the one for folding fitted sheets. I'm on my way to try it right now.

And I was soooo impressed with the difference your new knowledge has made in the look of your linen closet! Wellll, I know you could do it if you really wanted too -- and that's what's important. :)
Jody Blue said…
What a great post!!! The sheet folding thing I had down, but the T-shirt thingy is a new one on me, I will be practicing!
Even if I could fold the sheets perfectly, it would not be long before someone else in our home pulls one out and ruins the rest! LOL Such is life! blessings,Kathleen
Laura said…
That was really funny. I especially like the way your closet looks now that you've learned how to fold a fitted sheet.....
Lynn said…
Too funny. I love the before and after linen closet pictures. Your post reminds me of when my husband and I first got married; our house was ransacked and it took us more than an hour to notice :o! Because it pretty much always looked that way.

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