Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Sunday, September 11, 2011

C: Pet Peeve—Diaper-Whiner Dads

RANTWARNING One of the perks of being a blogger is having an outlet to vent about one’s pet peeves in hopes there is an audience.  Better than screaming to yourself.  Combine that with a day on the lawn tractor, which leads to even more over-thinking than usual, and you have a full blown rant on your hands.

The other day a friend, speaking of the father of her child, said, “Jo-Jo just does not change dirty diapers.  He doesn’t like wet ones, either, but he absolutely refuses to change the dirty ones.  It makes him retch” 

Oh, my.  This kind of thing just sends me into orbit, for it is a sign of something deeper—an infantile man.  And a bully.  Let me explain.

Jo-Jo happens to be a great outdoorsman.  He would stand over a deer he had just shot and watch the last lights of life ebb away.  He would then string up the still-warm body, slit it open, allowing the guts to spill out, and lasciviously grin at his triumph.

But he claims to have too-weak a stomach to perform some basic act of nurture and love for his helpless child?  You know, the baby who relies on others for everything—every.little.thing?  You know, the one who ought to look to his parents (both of them) to willingly and lovingly take good care of him/her?  Da-da’s stomach is too weak for this?


I’m not buying it.  Not even a little.  There’s something else at platantrumy.  I  submit it is the following:

Infantilism.  This is a man pitching a little bit of a tantrum to avoid doing a little something he doesn’t want to do.  Dirty diapers were never the highlight of my day, either, but c’mon.

Selfishness.  Goes hand-in-hand with the above.

Bullying.  The purpose of his little tantrum?  To get his wife (mother, grandmother, aunt…any sensible female who happens to be around) to do HIS JOB.  Yes, HIS JOB as a parent. 

Do not put up with this stuff—not even a little bit.  If he’s gonna be “Dad,” he needs to be “Dad.”  Okay?

And if he’s the type to let his little loved one lie there in a dirty diaper because handy females won’t cave to his bullying or because there doesn’t diaper3_f happen to be one around, then he is something much, much worse:  He’s a child neglecter.  He is not worthy to watch this kid.  In fact, you need to start distancing yourself, because this is a bad, bad omen for other areas of your life.  This is a selfish man, and don’t you ever forget it.  One who refuses the care of his own little child is seriously selfish.

For all his mid-life-crisis scumbagness, I must say that my husband never, once, balked at taking care of our baby.  He was as eager as I was to see to it that our little son had a dry, clean bottom and was comfortable in every way he could be.  Anyone with any different attitude needs to hang his head in shame.No_Bully_Zone

And you women out there!  If I hear you speak of this with a little “wink-wink, aren’t men just so silly” in your simpering voice, you need to know  I’m gunning for you even more.  Do not put up with this foolishness.  Not one second.  It’s an attempt to bully you or something worse.  And take note of this character attribute and watch for it to pour out in other areas.  If he’ll do it to his own helpless infant, then…

Now, if Jo-Jo ever reads this (he’ll have to be shown, which is just fine with me), I know what he’ll say.  “I don’t give a rip what she thinks.”  I know that, but you need to know: 

I’ve got your number bully-dude.”

So there.      C


ain't for city gals said...

I so agree with all of this! We make way too many excuses for alot of people in our lives ...blah...blah..blah! And then we wonder why ...When you really sit back and watch it is amazing what passes before your eyes in human behavior. Makes me want to hook up my little trailer and drive off into the sunset!

Vee said...

My hubby talks about this from time to time. He thinks, as you do, that men who don't care about the well-being of their own children aren't really any kind of father at all.

Vee said...

And so do I.

Kat_RN said...

I do agree. My husband stayed home with
ours when they were little. He did a great job
And never complained.

Debi@7Gates said...

I agree with everything you said and more!

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

You tell 'em! Amen to all of your words and bullet points. That is just ridiculous! I remember gagging over changing a neighbor's baby's diaper, but never MY OWN CHILD. That's just not right. I'm with you: the man has a serious character flaw.

kath001 said...

I gagged when I had to clean up my children's vomit. Does that make me a bad mother? I actually remember bundling sheets into a plastic bag and throwing them away in the middle of the night rather than think about rinsing them out in the morning. My husband was better with vomit. I was better with poopy diapers. It was labor divided and love multiplied. Worked okay over all.

A bird in the hand said...

Gawd, I just listened to a friend of mind defend similar things about her man. I told what I though of what he was doing and she dredged up even more excuses.

As for this whiner, if he can kill and slit a deer's belly without retching, he can damn well change his baby's diaper without retching too. I don't buy his excuse, either.

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee

AGREE 100 per cent! The bottom line: they just don't want to do it. Selfish.

Karen said...

LOL.. good post. I gotta say, though...I'm married to a non-diaper-changer. He just wouldn't. That offended me, but I decided I had to choose my battles, and that wasn't important enough to be one of them. He was an excellent father in every other way,though, still is.

I'm never going to change the oil in the car, either.

Hilary said...

You go, girl. Tell it like it is.
I couldn't agree more.

Vivianne said...

LOL love this post. Lucky for me, my DH was very involved with all aspects of the kids' babyhood :-)

Immigrant Daughter said...

C this is a super pet peeve. I too hate to hear about women letting the husbands off the hook of shared responsibility of children. Just think back when there were not disposeables and we had to boil the diapers clean and if we couldn't depend on our spouses to help I would say, THIS is war. Immigrant Daughter

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Well, my hubby did his very best to avoid changing ANY diapers. Ridiculous! Funny, it never really bothered me, but throw up really gets to me!
He's not a perfect dad, but he comes through when they need him without too much complaining. Lately, that's been a lot!
Cowgirl V

Vickie said...

Amen to all of what you said. My husband and I shared all diaper responsibilities for sons and daughter (altho he would change our girl and say "what do i do?". Bless his heart - he ALWAYS volunteered for vomit-clean up duties so I could see to the kid. I've got a "keeper"! ;)

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