One of the perks of being a blogger is having an outlet to vent about one’s pet peeves in hopes there is an audience. Better than screaming to yourself. Combine that with a day on the lawn tractor, which leads to even more over-thinking than usual, and you have a full blown rant on your hands.
The other day a friend, speaking of the father of her child, said, “Jo-Jo just does not change dirty diapers. He doesn’t like wet ones, either, but he absolutely refuses to change the dirty ones. It makes him retch”
Oh, my. This kind of thing just sends me into orbit, for it is a sign of something deeper—an infantile man. And a bully. Let me explain.
Jo-Jo happens to be a great outdoorsman. He would stand over a deer he had just shot and watch the last lights of life ebb away. He would then string up the still-warm body, slit it open, allowing the guts to spill out, and lasciviously grin at his triumph.
But he claims to have too-weak a stomach to perform some basic act of nurture and love for his helpless child? You know, the baby who relies on others for everything—every.little.thing? You know, the one who ought to look to his parents (both of them) to willingly and lovingly take good care of him/her? Da-da’s stomach is too weak for this?
Infantilism. This is a man pitching a little bit of a tantrum to avoid doing a little something he doesn’t want to do. Dirty diapers were never the highlight of my day, either, but c’mon.
Selfishness. Goes hand-in-hand with the above.
Bullying. The purpose of his little tantrum? To get his wife (mother, grandmother, aunt…any sensible female who happens to be around) to do HIS JOB. Yes, HIS JOB as a parent.
Do not put up with this stuff—not even a little bit. If he’s gonna be “Dad,” he needs to be “Dad.” Okay?
And if he’s the type to let his little loved one lie there in a dirty diaper because handy females won’t cave to his bullying or because there doesn’t happen to be one around, then he is something much, much worse: He’s a child neglecter. He is not worthy to watch this kid. In fact, you need to start distancing yourself, because this is a bad, bad omen for other areas of your life. This is a selfish man, and don’t you ever forget it. One who refuses the care of his own little child is seriously selfish.
For all his mid-life-crisis scumbagness, I must say that my husband never, once, balked at taking care of our baby. He was as eager as I was to see to it that our little son had a dry, clean bottom and was comfortable in every way he could be. Anyone with any different attitude needs to hang his head in shame.
And you women out there! If I hear you speak of this with a little “wink-wink, aren’t men just so silly” in your simpering voice, you need to know I’m gunning for you even more. Do not put up with this foolishness. Not one second. It’s an attempt to bully you or something worse. And take note of this character attribute and watch for it to pour out in other areas. If he’ll do it to his own helpless infant, then…
Now, if Jo-Jo ever reads this (he’ll have to be shown, which is just fine with me), I know what he’ll say. “I don’t give a rip what she thinks.” I know that, but you need to know:
“I’ve got your number bully-dude.”
So there. C