Riding Life!

Riding Life!
Life is like a wild horse--Unless you ride it, it will ride you! (from the movie: "Princess of Thieves.")

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Cynic C: The Most Powerful Force in the World

Yet again, blame this post on V.   She has assured me that since this has been on TV, we’ll retain our PG-13 rating.
Have you seen this ad?
It only confirms what I have learned in my fifth decade of life: Most everything revolves around sex.
You think I’m wrong?  Nope, I’m not.  I’ve practiced family law 32 years (shudder) and I know this to be true.  Now.  A bit late in the day.  I would have denied this ten years ago.
We women have got to get it through our heads: Men just are not as relational as women are.  They have a pull to sex  from a perspective that we don’t have.  This is not to say that we don’t like sex, too; only it is different for them and not nearly as relationship-based as we women assume.  And it pulls in a way that can lead (often) one away from family and fealty.
Notice in the video—it’s the men scrapping for it.

The last issue of Discover magazine has a whole article on this.  Just look at these quotes from it (p 48, 7/2011 issue):
Men don’t require any information about a woman other than what they can see with their own eyes.

Solitary, quick to arouse goal-targeted, driven to hunt..and a little foolish. The male brain is designed to be more visually responsive to sexual stimuli than the female brain is…

The male’s desire software is like Elmer Fudd…always on the hunt for …wabbits…easily fooled by ducks dressed as rabbits…but never gets discouraged.  He reloads and gets back out there.  tomorrow is another day…to bag a wabbit.

What you may have long suspected is true.  Male brains are designed to objectify females..
Sorry, that’s the facts, Ma’am.snow white

Why is it important for us to know this?  For me to continue to beat this drum?  Because we women need to plan our lives with this in mind—not  with the idea of a fairy-tale life which we’ve been sold over the years.  

Look at this picture of Snow White and her “happily-ever-after” (bet not…)prince .  He wasn’t in this for the relationship—she was comatose when he fell for her, for cryin’ out loud.  All he needed to "fall in love" was what he saw with his own eyes.  Poor Snowy, however, thinks it's something different....

We need to understand that over 50 per cent of marriages in America will end in divorce, and most of those will be because of the difference men feel about sex—need for variety, for instance.  It leads them to abandon relationships we women would never abandon. 
We need to be teaching our daughters to love their husbands with their whole hearts, but to be able to fend for themselves.  There is a great chance that they will have to.
Yeah, I know, I know: your guy is different.  Mine was too for 40 years.   Ask V.  If ever elmerthere was a paragon of Christian, salt-of-the-earth, husbandly virtue, mine was,  Until a 29-year-old came calling and that tendency to objectify kicked in and Elmer Fudd popped out…it is an amazing dynamic, and we all need to acknowledge it.
Sorry for the preaching…I know I sound like a jaded scorned woman.  Okay, I am a jaded, scorned woman but from my profession I just know it’s an important topic for women.  I help them manage this issue on a daily basis.
I feel like Cassandra on this topic…like I wrote about a few weeks ago here.  I am right, right, right on this topic, but those who need to hear cannot.
Thanks for listening if you haven’t tuned me out by this time.  C.

PS – By the way, I remember when showing bras on TV was a bit edgy…now we’re talking douche, viagra, and on and on…boy our kids are getting an early education, aren’t they?

PSS – Yes, I know there are unfaithful women, too.   We’ve had a close brush with this recently.   And, yes, I know that there are men who resist temptations.   I’m talking statistics, here.


ain't for city gals said...

C. I almost always agree with you but on this ..I am just not sure...if it is all about the sex...almost like a cop out to me. What we need to teach our girls from a very early age is to do what makes them happy...We need to teach them from a very early age to be strong independant women. But do we really teach them this? ...by example. Why do so many women stay when they know things are not right...why do so many women become their husbands mother's instead of their wife...why why why...We need to encourage our daughters, grand daughters, nieces not to get married until they are older...when they know themselves a bit better. I have been reading another woman's blog (and I know you do too) that is going through just this...not once have I read she knew something was wrong but she chose not to do anything about it...Do we do that because of finaancial stability..and then we end up with nothing in the end anyway...Whey do we wait until the man leaves...and yes usually it is beacause of another woman...but that is just the end game. We have to take a bit of accountability(sp? word?) for ourselves.

A bird in the hand said...

Watching TV, both programs and commercials, you will often hear me groan, because everything, but everything, comes down to sex. Sex is fine, but 24/7 and with things that don't need a sexual angle, it becomes horrendously BORING.

I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice this.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

I think we're seeing more and more younger women willing to abandon for the same reason as men, but even worse--for greener pastures, or so they think. Women, will leave for an affair, but often women are motivated more for "security"--I know of many instances where married men in high powered, lucrative jobs, were sought after by gold digging women. They don't care what havoc they wreak on a family.

Women are not as motivated by the desire for sex and variety, but they are easily tempted by flattery and desire for money and power--not that different from men.
We people can be a selfish, sorry lot--but thankfully, there will always be some who are faithful.
Cowgirl V

Vee said...

Ugh. What a tacky commercial.

Vickie said...

I agree with Vee - tacky commercial.

I agree with A Bird in the Hand, too. Sex sells everything you can imagine on the media.

I also want to add (from a Christian viewpoint) that since men are the way they are, we also should not only teach our girls to be strong and independent, but we should encourage them to try to understand their man's needs and try to meet those needs.

I know I might be opening up a can of worms here, but I also know several couples among my own friends that the husband went looking for entertainment because the wife was not providing it at home.

If that is NOT the case, tho, then I agree that women need to be able to stand on their own. And yes, I have seen some women leave husband and children (I don't understand leaving one's children) for another man. It's crazy. Not the way God intended at all.

OK, there's my 2 cents.

Immigrant Daughter said...

IT is tough to declare a solution to this .Sin is sin no matter what you call it, Stealing,cheating are all poor choices and the individual has to account for their own. Christ has to be kept in the union. I agree with Vickie. I had a good marriage and yet my son went astray, why because his domination and not being able to control his urge for sex. But C is right when she says women need independence in their marriage so they won't be taken for granted.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

You know, in reading over these comments, I just have to say that I anguish over the coarseness in our culture--the baseness, the absolute selfishness I see destroying marriages and families. The Word tells us that is how it will be--but it's so hard to see the pain that self centeredness causes to innocent people trying to live a decent life. Sorry, guys, I'm really usually much "lighter" than this, but I'm really having a bad day. Can't write about it yet, but someday...
Cowgirl V

ain't for city gals said...

I came back to read other's comments on this subject...I agree with cowgirl V....people are so selfish at times..everyone can be tempted but why would it be worth it if you have a good relationship...it must be some form of control in a way...to see if they can do it and still control the other person..interesting conversation to say the least...

Vivianne said...

I'm not a Christian; I fail to see what that has to do with fidelity, really. It's about one's own sense of what's right & wrong. I also see that women don't look elsewhere as readily when their needs (and not just/only sexual) aren't being met by their husbands: and your Christian commenters don't speak to this situation. It reads as if women should do whatever it takes to satisfy their husbands to keep them from roaming ... but what - if anything - do the husbands have to do to keep their wives happy ?

Anonymous said...

for my money, this is the best post you've written


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