So ends 2011. I don’t want to sound like a pessimist, but I must say that I will not miss 2011! Our family has dealt with some difficult events that were unforeseeable. Eldest daughter has suffered a complicated pregnancy, a diagnosis of epilepsy, a bacterial blood infection and a blood clot. She endures a painful injection in the abdomen of a blood thinner medication everyday . My grandchildren had to call 911 one evening when I had left for just an hour. I have never been so afraid in my life, except when my son broke his neck in an ATV accident a few years back.
The Christmas Dinner 2011 Roast Goose
My son cooked the roast goose!
Our son’s fairytale wedding (which I posted about) a couple of years ago, sadly didn’t have a happy ending. It came to an abrupt end when he discovered she was involved with someone else this summer. Just telling it as it is. He was devastated and so were we, but he is staying busy and close to family and friends. He’s going to be fine, but sometimes eldest daughter and I see a deep sadness in his expression. It’s hard! Only God knows how much he’s been through and the struggles he’s had in his life. Makes me almost despair at times, but I still see hope and faith in him and I pray for him everyday. Really, his whole life is a miracle and an answer to prayer. Some day I will post what he’s given me permission to write.
I love to get Christmas letters from friends and family! Maybe I’m just nosey, but I like to keep up with people I know. Most newsletters focus on the accomplishments and vacations, etc. Kathy, my neighbor from years ago writes the best newsletters! She writes about the good and the bad—the accomplishments, the losses—no veneer or glossing over, but truth and hope prevail in her letters. I hope I never embarrass anyone or air dirty laundry as a sort of voyeurism, but I appreciate REAL! A while back, I told “C” about an especially braggy newsletter I had received. “Here’s an example of mine this year if I were to write one”, I said. Then I recited my imaginary letter with the true real life events of my messed up life and all the stuff my kids had done in their rebellious years. We laughed our heads off! Better than crying!
The way we were around 1978. Has it been that long?
I’ve been cleaning my house like a maniac and I came across a family photo with our firstborn. I realized how much I’ve (we’ve) changed and yes, aged over the years. When “C” and were visiting my sister and mom last month, my sister asked us “Do you ever pass by a mirror, and catch a glance and think “Is that ME? Is that REALLY me?” We both had to confess: Yes, we have! I hate to admit to vanity, but I’d be less than honest if I denied it. I don’t spend a lot of time on myself, but maybe I SHOULD try a little harder! I just submitted a recent photo to Karen’s blog (one of my favorite places to visit) at www.thisoldhousetoo.blogspot.com. It was a little scary, because as I told her, I usually duck or run when I see someone coming with a camera. Especially, my hubby because he has a knack for catching me in the most unflattering poses—such as mid-chew during dinner or eyes half closed! He let me know tonight that he does not like the blond highlights I’ve added. The brunette of my youth seems too harsh, but the blond seems to wash me out. “Maybe, I should just go with the gray”, I said. I’ve earned every single gray hair over the past 20 years! Ummm, they say that about wrinkles too, don’t they? Just don’t want to be the pathetic aging woman trying too hard to hang on to lost youth. There’s a certain dignity in getting older, isn’t there? Or there should be! I suppose this angst over aging is fairly common to most babyboomer women, but I would really like to come to peace with it this year. I was in a state of disbelief when I first became a grandmother at age 45, but I’ve come to terms with it—yes, I’ve even embraced it as they say. I dearly love my grandchildren, but it was a shock to become a grandmother when I still had a 12 year old at home! Just sayin.
The way we were in 2006. My hair was still dark! I may have had a little help!
So my New Year’s resolution this year is self acceptance. I can’t tell you how difficult that is for me! To publish a recent photo, is just a little excruciating, but I’ll get over it! It may sound strange, but it’s something I need to get over! On her birthday (June 24), Dulcy Stewart’s post on turning sixty at www.dulcysdoorstep.blogspot.com, inspired me to consider that there are indeed worse things in life than turning sixty! Of course, not everyone ages as gracefully as Dulcy, but one can hope! I love her longish silver hair and sense of style. She is also an amazing artist!
After tucking grandchild into bed, we read one of our very favorites- The Napping House. As we lay there , we watched the fireworks display from the neighbor across the road from the upstairs window. A sweet, quiet way to see the year end. Hubby retired early due to a viral infection he’s having difficulty kicking. I forgot to buy the customary champagne when we were out today, so there will not be a New Year’s toast. We’ll celebrate the New Year tomorrow evening with Cowgirl C. She’s cooking short ribs and gouda grits and she keeps telling me about this new salad recipe with fresh brussel sprouts and I know she will have wine! I can’t wait! We’ll have to eat some black eyed peas so we’ll have good luck in the coming year! Hope we will post more at Stick Horse Cowgirls this coming year! Life just presses in sometimes and gets in the way of what I want to do. So peace, hope, and joy to all out there in the blogging neighborhood—blessings to you all in the coming year. Happy New Year!